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10 TROPES We Hate About Rom Coms

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  • Lindsey Stein
    Lindsey Stein 11 ай бұрын +11785

    I think the worst romcom trope is the whole “persistence will get you the girl” thing. The main example that comes to mind is the notebook. He keeps asking her out and asking her out, she keeps saying no. Very firm in her answer. Then, only accepts when he threatens to jump off of a Ferris wheel to harm himself. That kind of thing is not romantic, especially in real life.

    • Nicki O'Leary
      Nicki O'Leary 8 күн бұрын

      Agreed. If someone, no matter their gender, says no, RESPECT THEIR DECISION. *PLEASE*

    • OᄆO
      OᄆO 10 күн бұрын

      Whoa, I've never had someone threatened me that if I don't like him back, he would kill himself.
      If someone say that I'll probably say "Well, my final answer is still no. I don't encourage you to do that but I can't stop you either"

    • MrAranton
      MrAranton 14 күн бұрын

      @C J apodictically saying "No means no" only makes sense as long as women a) always mean what they say and b) never ever change their mind. It doesn't take that much life experience to know that those are unrealistic assumption.
      I have dealt with women to who reacted to "if you're into him, just go chat him up" as nonplussed though they'd been asked to travel back in time in order to fetch a hair from Ghengis Khan's beard. So, the line "if she changes her mind, she will go to you" doesn't seem that deeply rooted in reality either, does it?
      Which raises the all important question: How can a rule that is based on reality defying assumptions ever be workable?

    • C J
      C J 14 күн бұрын

      @MrAranton icl i thought there was a chance u might just be phrasing things wrong in ur original comment but now ive seen a few if your discussions with people down here? God i hope this is just some weird little social experiment or something. No means no. If u ask a girl out and she says no then changes her mind she will go to u, if she doesnt then shes NOT INTERESTED.

    • C J
      C J 14 күн бұрын

      @MrAranton i think if u ask someone out and they say no it doesnt really matter if you think they might have answered differently another time you should just leave them alone unless you’re up for just being friends (and u dont really sound like ur up for being friends😅)

  • NucleArt
    NucleArt Ай бұрын +342

    When used realistically, I love the enemies to lovers trope. Mainly because that trope is pretty much me and my girlfriend. I always heard that being an jerk will help win the girl. Surprise surprise it didn’t work and she hated my guts. I then resolved to being myself and we eventually got together and have been together for almost 5 years.

    • Coastalwaves360
      Coastalwaves360 5 күн бұрын

      I love the enemies to lovers trope if done well

    • Reason
      Reason 18 күн бұрын +1

      @Charles Nemit Oh please, that relationship was obviously set up from the beginning.

    • Ari
      Ari 19 күн бұрын +6

      The same happened with my bf. But tbh I don't even know why we were "enemies" to start with. But even today we tease each other all the time in a healthy way, I'd say, cause whenever someone push off the limits we seat down and talk about, apologize and everything's fine again. We're very open but we also love battle of wits (again, in a healthy way).

    • Charles Nemit
      Charles Nemit Ай бұрын +9

      @TheJezebeI Yes, one the best examples is brooklyn 99 if you haven't seen it, watch it that exact trope happens beautifully on screen.

    • Jien
      Jien Ай бұрын +78

      This is why I love the enemies-to-lovers trope in tv shows or other long-running media, but not so much in film. In a five season-show, you can organically develop a relationship where two people start off hating each other for whatever reason (thus providing either tension or comedy, depending) and slowly learn more about each other, having to work together on a problem, find out what makes the other person tick, working on their own flaws... until they start to appreciate each other (ideally without losing their initial chemistry/spark). So I guess it's more "enemies to friends (to lovers)"

  • Saloni Kullar
    Saloni Kullar 2 ай бұрын +503

    Personally I would hate the love triangle happening with me. First of all , it just as tough rejecting someone you genuinely care about as it is being rejected. Secondly to have to reject either/or and choose between 2 people would be terrible to do,as if you're seeing which is the superior flavour of ice cream...so no I wouldn't want to be in such a situation

    • Luka
      Luka 18 сағат бұрын +1

      I've been in one and I regret it soooo much. It was AWFUL and caused a ton of tension. We all do stupid things when we're young ig but I wish I had avoided it lol

    • olava pedersen
      olava pedersen 6 күн бұрын +1

      Having been in that situation, it's the worst. Not wanting to hurt either of the people you've started to care for, trying to find a good way of getting out of it and such. On paper it might sound hot to some, in reality, not so much in my opinion.

    • OᄆO
      OᄆO 10 күн бұрын +1

      As an introvert, one guy chasing me is tiring enough. All the calls and messages and meetup invitation. Imagine that doubled. Hell nah.
      I'm not really interested in romance anyway.
      For the rejecting part, I won't feel guilty at all tbh.
      I'll just say what I really feel.
      I reject a guy in high school with "Sorry, I don't have any romantic feelings towards you. Maybe we could be friends instead?"
      As expected, he disappeared afterwards which is completely fine.

    • Ari
      Ari 19 күн бұрын +1

      @wvu05 Maybe I think like that cause that never happened to me, but I hate letting people down and even years later I think about the people I rejected, how they're like today. Maybe it's because I had a bf that was in love with a girl 9 years after she rejected him, then he finally got through her, months later he starting dating me and then years later I broke up with him... So I felt like I was the villain, and I felt really bad because of it, I even had to seek therapy, I felt very guilty. Even with my bf today I'd prefer he broke up with me instead of me breaking up with him, cause I prefer to feel miserable to let him feel like that. I don't know if makes sense... And English is not my language, btw.

    • wvu05
      wvu05 19 күн бұрын

      @Ari You seriously think that being rejected is easier? I mean, to a certain extent, you develop a bit of a thick skin, but it never really gets easy.

  • Niko Blair
    Niko Blair 4 ай бұрын +1054

    Jono said "My big romantic gesture is cleaning the whole kitchen." and I dead ass SCREAMED bc that is so TRUE and REAL

    • Ash Day
      Ash Day 23 сағат бұрын

      @Kristen Hanisch aww that is touching! That’s sweet they did that for you! I also know the struggles of having a husband who works overnight and not easy for sure! Most of the time I do the cooking and he will do the dishes before he goes to work but it’s not always easy

    • Kristen Hanisch
      Kristen Hanisch Күн бұрын +1

      @Ash Day yes, every relationship is different. We're still trying to figure out what works for us as far as housework, although, for instance, my husband likes to wash dishes and I prefer to do laundry. Also, the fact that he works at nights (and has to sleep during the day) and right now my job is to be pregnant and take care of our developmentally delayed toddler (I worked in Special Ed for several years until school ended two weeks after I found out I was pregnant with our first) are also factors. But even before I even met my husband if I was having a bad day and my mom or a sibling made me some mac n cheese I would find that touching.

    • Ash Day
      Ash Day Күн бұрын

      @Kristen Hanisch I can understand in your relationship that works and it is sweet he does that for you in a romantic way but I’m my relationship we share those responsibilities, it’s a rule in our house and this is just our experience but whoever doesn’t cook cleans up afterward. We switch on and off so we don’t end up feeling like one thing is completely on one person. We Believe household chores is adulting no matter what gender. As for romance we plan a date night once a month and just tell each other how much we appreciate each other and what future goals we look forward to accomplishing. Like I said every relationship is different and I do not judge, I hope he cleans often ☺️

    • Kristen Hanisch
      Kristen Hanisch 2 күн бұрын +1

      Honestly, something like cleaning the kitchen would be a huge romantic gesture for me. Acts of Service is my primary love language, so if my husband were to go out of his way to take care of something that is normally my responsibility without me asking him that would have me wilt, lol!

    • Ash Day
      Ash Day 11 күн бұрын +2

      I always found a truthful apology and some flowers always did it for me, dit down let’s have some coffee and just chat about what happens and why that is HUGE in my book

  • Popcornsprinkles
    Popcornsprinkles Ай бұрын +138

    ok, I managed to have an enemies to lovers Romance. He was an absolute flirt, and pointless flirting pissed me off. I told him exactly what I thought of him, and he hated me because I was being a bitch. Anyways, he stopped trying to flirt with me. Our buddy ended up inviting me to join his DnD game, and the stupid man-ho mask slipped to reveal the decent guy underneath. I slowly we both let our guard down, and we fell in love. We've been together for 8 years.

    • Charity •
      Charity • 7 күн бұрын +4

      This is the most adorable thing I've read this week 😂😂❤

    • TeenyWeenyDork
      TeenyWeenyDork 22 күн бұрын +9

      that’s sooo cute 😭😭💀

  • Em Stewart
    Em Stewart 11 ай бұрын +3023

    I didn’t realize how bland Eric was until I watched the Broadway version of the little mermaid where he seems more sincere as they actually spend time together, he teaches Ariel how to dance so they can bond without words, and he was still chasing this voice throughout the story, but they had a different climax where there’s a singing contest to win Eric’s hand in marriage, and Ariel rushes in and is gonna be escorted out while everyone else laughs because they know she can’t compete, but then Eric stops them and is like “No wait, go ahead” and she does the little dance step they did together and he realizes he’s been looking in the wrong places and wants to be with her, and when he announces her as the winner Ursula tries to use Ariel’s voice in the distance to lure him away, but he chooses to dismiss it and run to Ariel for the almost before sunset but not quite kiss, and movie Eric could’ve been at least a little better, that is all

    • alabasterlight
      alabasterlight 7 сағат бұрын

      That sounds like they were inspired by the film Happy Feet? I would love to take my niece to it, she would love it.

    • Jackson T
      Jackson T 13 күн бұрын

      I always thought that Eric became obsessed with the voice because of the magic power of a siren song, not because he’d just abandon Ariel for something so silly.
      In the movie, her voice glows inside of the shell that Ursula uses, and whenever he hears the voice his eyes glow too.
      I do wish they had taken just like, one scene to elaborate that her voice is hypnotic because she’s a mermaid

    • Silverion
      Silverion 15 күн бұрын

      Or they could do it like the original where she doesn't win the guy and unlives herself.

    • Rachel
      Rachel 27 күн бұрын +1

      I want to see a new Disney Little Mermaid remake where Eric does this

    • Ruth E.
      Ruth E. Ай бұрын

      Dude the Broadway version is the best

  • Popcornsprinkles
    Popcornsprinkles Ай бұрын +321

    Getting out of a love triangle is super simple with the following steps:
    1) lock your door and put on your comfy pants.
    2) get snacks that you don't have to share with anyone.
    3) Watch your favorite show, this is time for you to pamper you.
    4) enjoy the fact that you don't have to perform the social labor of appeasing two guys with clearly low self-esteem.
    bonus: cake?

    • Popcornsprinkles
      Popcornsprinkles 2 күн бұрын

      @Kristen Hanisch I am not restricting snack options, you know how best to treat yourself.

    • Kristen Hanisch
      Kristen Hanisch 2 күн бұрын +1

      Change that for ice cream and sounds like a perfect solution, lol!

    • Ari
      Ari 19 күн бұрын

      It's not that easy, though. Trust me, I know how it feels like... I had that a couple of times and I don't even know how that happened...

    • NumberBndl
      NumberBndl 28 күн бұрын +2

      Wait that’s not a love triangle. That’s just two people liking one person

    • The Void King
      The Void King 29 күн бұрын +8

      This is the most aro vibes comment I have ever seen and I love it. (I was going to just say be single or go for option three, but this is better.)

  • Becca Rahme
    Becca Rahme Ай бұрын +106

    I think the enemies to lovers trope, unlike some of the others, if built fundamentally on the premise that the two people don’t know each other well enough. Often those stories show a reluctant respect before it’s progressed to love. In my opinion it’s one of the healthier representations of building a romantic relationship for that reason.

  • Dani Kassander
    Dani Kassander Ай бұрын +66

    I've dealt with a love triangle twice where we liked the same guy. I always step out. If I mattered to them, they wouldn't be considering a 2nd option.

    • Beanie Guitar Guy
      Beanie Guitar Guy 3 күн бұрын +1

      That doesn’t mean you don’t matter to them lol

    • P VP
      P VP 9 күн бұрын +2

      That's self respect right there.

  • Britt Vaughn
    Britt Vaughn Ай бұрын +41

    How would I, a polyamorous person, deal with a love triangle, you ask? I'D BE EXCITED AND WE WOULD ALL WATCH MOVIES TOGETHER THAT'S HOW.

  • Ava Lovelace-Porter
    Ava Lovelace-Porter 3 ай бұрын +418

    I will admit that I genuinely love the enemies to lovers trope because I think there's something so beautiful in being able to grow as people, not only into a relationship but into better versions of yourselves. In being able to recognize your flaws and mistakes, and being able to recognize the ways in which you can relate to people that you think you hate and then finding understanding there where you didn't expect it. I especially enjoy when its enemies to okay acquaintances to friends to lovers, because it demonstrates how much time and effort must be put into a relationship in order for it to grow into something worth keeping.

    • Origami Kiddo
      Origami Kiddo 17 күн бұрын +1

      I agree and the real phrase should be "assumptions about the other person that they are something they are not because of first impressions and or something someone said" to friends because we actually spent time together not distracted by possible romantic relationship and realized we were wrong about the other person and have learned things about ourselves and grown.i should add, I love this trope in web comics where there is time to develop the story. In movies it's much more rushed and doesn't always work.

    • Ava Lovelace-Porter
      Ava Lovelace-Porter Ай бұрын +3

      @A.K. YES I LOVE THIS. This is the perfect way to describe it. There’s a fine line between two people who have mildly toxic traits that can be dealt with and still loved, and manipulators/abusers. It’s important to follow the recipe so you get a sweet, fluffy cake, instead of a burnt monstrosity slathered in frosting to fool you into tasting it.

    • A.K.
      A.K. Ай бұрын +5

      I like to think this trope can work, it just has been well put together in order for it work. Think of it as baking a cake, you have your ingredients sure, but the process is what makes it count. Because if there's any mishaps like not being properly mixed, forgetting/misusing the ingredients, or burn the cake. You end up with something that was supposed to be delicious sweet cake. No matter how much frosting can cover it, the taste is horrible.

    • Brenne Allen
      Brenne Allen Ай бұрын +4

      i’ve dealt with this from both sides, where the person i absolutely hated and wasn’t attracted to pursued and “mildly” stalked me through middle and high school (it only ended when he hooked up with my roommate to prove he was over me, and then i had a hot boyfriend in a band that i told about what was going on and stalker-boy had to be physically and verbally threatened into staying away from me. and i’ve also turned my mortal enemy into a long-term, extremely passionate relationship which was usually pretty healthy because we weren’t afraid to verbally argue with each other (actually, the sex usually better when we were pissed off at each other) but even then, sometimes i just want a quiet evening without arguing over who has better taste in tv or books. after having lots of these relationships in my 20s & 30s, i really feel like parents need to teach their kids, especially adolescent and teenage boys, how to appropriately and properly process anger and rejection, because i’ve also dealt a lot with dudes who just can’t stand that a woman will say no to them and actually mean it.

    • CallieTheWolfCat
      CallieTheWolfCat Ай бұрын +5

      @Asha Vere It can appear in queer relationships too. I've seen the trope done in Boy Love anime. It's honestly disgusting how often media makes abusers, and toxic people seem romantic. If you couldn't already tell, I also hate the tsundere trope

  • ThePaintingPlant
    ThePaintingPlant Ай бұрын +170

    So about handling a love triangle:
    I, an autistic, very straight forward, feminine presenting person tend to accidentally feed into some guys manic pixie dream girl fantasy. This has lead to uncomfortable love triangles in the past. The way I deal with it is to be up front about it. For example I was in a relationship and a friend of mine, who I had had feelings for in the past, kept getting a bit too flirty for comfort. So I told him I feel like your not respecting my relationship and it's making me uncomfortable. You won't win me over in a romantic way, but I like you a lot as a friend. We had a conversation about it and are still best friends to this day :)

    • kackewuerstchen
      kackewuerstchen 13 күн бұрын +1

      @Ari i'm also autistic and I feel this manic pixie dream girl thing is absolutely real in my experience.. it holds up until they realize that it's not just fun and quirky and you have actual needs and behaviours that can get uncomfortable to them. there were also a number of guy-friends that "developed feelings" for me, who then cut me off completely when i told them i was not romantically intereted in them.

    • Ari
      Ari 19 күн бұрын +1

      I'm also autistic. Now I'm thinking... Is this the reason why it happened to me twice? I don't know, I think it would be so much easier to be rejected, cause I hate having someone interested in me when I'm not interested at all in the person, I hate this feeling and I knew they were truly in love with me (unfortunately). I also had stalkers after me some times... Maybe they see something like that, this "manic pixie dream girl" style... That I have just because I'm not neuro typical. Cause I've always asked myself I'm *not* the prettiest girl or the most interesting girl in the world but I've had a couple of people interested in me and I felt it was just a fantasy of projection of their part... I'd say just two or three guys really knew me for me (English is not my first language)

    • ThePlumScrub
      ThePlumScrub 29 күн бұрын +5

      That’s a great way to tackle that situation! :D

    • Una Speranza
      Una Speranza Ай бұрын +4

      You are really lucky anytime this has happened to me I lost them....

    • M
      M Ай бұрын +1

      im happy for you dear💜 love from another autistic afab

  • Rebekah Walmer
    Rebekah Walmer 4 ай бұрын +409

    Dealing with the "Love Triangle." I had a boy I served my Mormon Mission with. So you could say I knew him pretty well, without anything going on between us until I got home and we started talking. But he was in CA, and I was in VA. In other words we didn't actually spend any non-missionary time together. I planned on taking a trip out to see how things went, while we were still talking when I started online dating (I should tell you, against my own wishes, I was prompted to it), where I met my now husband,
    I found myself caught between these two guys. One I knew pretty well already and one I was getting to know. And what I did was- I told them about each other. Everything is above board. One got really jealous, and the other made it an ongoing joke. But when The time came to make the decision, and I talked to each seriously about it, One asked me not to talk to the other guy until my decision was made, and the other told me he wouldn't mind if I went out to CA to meet the other guy. And That's really when I knew. "If you love something, let it go- if it doesn't come back, it was never yours," Can you guess which one I picked? Happily married 6 years later...
    Long story short, keep an open line of communication, get to know both, and in due course, the better man will make himself known.

    • CallieTheWolfCat
      CallieTheWolfCat Ай бұрын +3

      Thank you, that is a lovely story! I will certainly keep this in mind while I look for my eternal companion

    • PLAGUE
      PLAGUE Ай бұрын +2

      I find myself easy to make jealous, but with maturity I can control it well. So even if my brain goes into the primal "kill it so you can have it" mode I have this little thing called self control that reminds me that people aren't NPCs in my story, but that everyone is experiencing life, and that means people aren't objects you can own. Absolutely made the right choice going with the guy who was willing to lose you if it meant you were happy. That guy cares.

    • Anna_ in_Aotearoa
      Anna_ in_Aotearoa 2 ай бұрын +3

      It really feels like (as with SOOO much about any kind of relationship), the key to handling the dreaded triangle is truly open, honest & empathetic communication?
      I don't personally know anyone in a polyamorous relationship either, but from what I hear, the exact same rule applies to make that work? Honesty and open comms.
      TBH, it feels like it's a good indicator of being adult enough & trustworthy enough to even contemplate a serious romantic relationship. If anyone involved can't be that open and that upfront now, they'd probably struggle to be so if you did end up together too....

    • joffrecordan
      joffrecordan 2 ай бұрын +26

      I had almost the opposite experience. I went through a love triangle very similar to that. I had been seeing a girl for two years, and a new coworker was flirting with her, and to her credit, she let me know that she was beginning to develop feelings rather than just secretly cheating. Like your man, I straight up told her that she can't have both, and I'd be heartbroken not to be chosen, but this was ultimately her decision. That I could not make that decision for her. I also pointed out that if we'd have our work cut out for us to become a stronger couple if I was leaving a big enough hole for him to have a place in her heart. She chose him, and it hurt, but I got over it faster than I thought.
      We ran into each other at a party the next year. They had lasted about 6 months, and at the time I was starting to get serious about someone I had been seeing about a month. She basically seemed to be cattily competing with my date, who was taking it like a champ. Date mentioned she only had a few details and asked about the break up. Old flame basically said she felt like I didn't fight for her. She asked both of us, and he was the only one that gave her a firm answer, while I left it up to her. I remember feeling a flash of heat as nearly a dozen responses flew through my mind: I shouldn't have to fight; fighting is exhausting; she should have fought for me before we got there, but before I could settle on what to say, my date gracefully thanked her for sharing. She immediately replied that she wanted a partner who she didn't have to fight for but could fight together with, and from My ex's account I, "had clearly been in [her] corner regardless of what it cost [me]." Was glad to know what to expect of our relationship going forward, kissed me hard on the lips and walked me out of the party then and there.
      New date and I were together a good six years, and have a child. When we did finally break up it was mutual and amicable. She and I are still very cordial co-parents with semi-occasional benefits.

    • ObsidianDragoness
      ObsidianDragoness 2 ай бұрын +5

      This was a meaningful insight, thanks for sharing! I feel like you handled that super well

  • WackyJaci
    WackyJaci Ай бұрын +28

    *How to deal with a love triangle:* accept that they're not choosing you, and move on. You may have feelings, but they're not being returned, and you don't want a relationship that doesn't have a foundation of respect, trust, and communication. Best of wishes!

  • Lauren Frey
    Lauren Frey  Жыл бұрын +1853

    In Ariel’s defense, she wanted to be a human before seeing Eric. He was just the final push, along with a pretty traumatic event involving her father destroying everything she had collected in a really violent manner. They were objects, but for her, they were priceless, and he destroyed it all.

    • Monica Nickolai
      Monica Nickolai Ай бұрын

      First of all, Eric falls in love with Ariel because she is funny and adventurous, makes him laugh, and does crazy things. Secondly, I don’t think “The Little Mermaid” is a romance-I think it’s a coming-of-age story. In Ariel’s “I want” song, she says what she really wants is to “out of the sea” and be among “bright young women, sick of swimming, ready to stand”, and she wants to “ask them [humans] my questions and get some answers” BEFORE she ever meets Eric. Her ultimate goal is for autonomy and freedom her patriarchal, controlling father. And the thing that pushes her into action is NOT meeting the prince…it’s her dad destroying her stuff. So yes, it’s problematic that a man/romantic partner is the solution and that she runs to the prince so soon, but a lot of people with abusive parents run away in the similar way. So the ultimate story is her teaching her father (and Sebastian) to accept her choices and accept that she’s going to move away from her family of origin to marry a guy her father hates. It’s not a perfect feminist film by any means, but I do think it has some valuable lessons about accepting the choices and freedom of young women.

    • Ellie F
      Ellie F Ай бұрын +1

      Little Mermaid makes so much more sense if you always keep in mind it is a literal queer allegory, and was when it was written. The Disney one I think works better than Mulan as a trans allegory.

    • hira rana
      hira rana 2 ай бұрын +1

      I agree 💯. Thy r wrong about little mermaid. She wasn't sing abt Eric she was singing abt becoming part of our world. Eric was just a way for her to become part of our world.

    • Newfiecat
      Newfiecat 3 ай бұрын +1

      @nessy ness Not gonna lie, I kinda want to see a version of the Little Mermaid where Triton is calm and reasonable. Like, they talk, and they decide he'll escort her to the surface for her safety. And then Ariel is having the time of her life wandering around the town and Triton sees how happy she is, and sees humans close up, realizing that they're not evil monsters. Would make a nice little What-if fic, I think.

    • Rebecca Hicks
      Rebecca Hicks 6 ай бұрын +1

      @Sikah Yes, exactly. Triton was actually correct, and, as a single parent, really was trying, but made mistakes by excessive harshness and by trying to protect her through authoritarian methods.
      That storyline in the movie is more interested than the love-story part.

  • LadyTroubadour
    LadyTroubadour Ай бұрын +9

    RE: love triangles- often satisfying in fiction (but definitely not always, you have to do it right to get the guilty pleasure glow instead of it just being annoying) but in real life I've had two potential partners and it royally sucks. There's no upside, it's heartache all around and no outcome leaves everybody happy. In fiction, the times I do enjoy it, it's because all my favorite tropes are about the same thing: the love interest(s?) seeing the value in the main character. It's something I've found lacking a lot in my personal life so I love stories where the main character is made to feel worthy and loved.

  • Imogen Geier
    Imogen Geier Ай бұрын +9

    I think love triangles are fine when the center of it isn't angry jealousy. Angry jealousy isn't attractive, and it takes me right out of things. Center the actual complex feelings of the characters, the relationships between the rivals. Mind you, I'm polyamorous, but love triangles absolutely *can* still happen in polyamory.

  • Delaney Rall
    Delaney Rall Ай бұрын +20

    With the whole love triangle idea, I think you could actually look to Fuller House for part of this. DJ has Matt and Steve that both love her and she loves both of them equally back, but ultimately does have to decide upon one versus the other. At one scene in particular, she has really delved into what her choice should be and she chooses herself. She doesn't get the guy, neither guy gets the girl(which was kind of disappointing). But this seems to be rather logically sound. Not only will she get the chance to fully recognize her feelings and attractions, but so will the guys. Especially when we see that the both of them have "moved on" after DJ, and we get to see their relationship with another woman, just to spot the small similarities that the women they've chosen are to DJ. It's a lot stronger of an impact than I thought of at first, but I do think that this takes Sense and Sensibility's trope of head AND heart. It takes DJ's head to make the first decision to choose herself, and then it takes her heart to figure out the rest on her own time, instead of it being on a time crunch for Matt and Steve.

  • RosieLikesNature
    RosieLikesNature 2 ай бұрын +38

    As a woman who wears glasses I always HATED the glasses = "not hot" trope. I therefore stubbornly never got contacts and made it my goal to make glasses werk for me

    • katarzynazofia
      katarzynazofia 13 күн бұрын +1

      Same here, now I love glasses 💙

    • The Firm
      The Firm 19 күн бұрын

      ‘Why my dear, you are beautiful’… 🤮🤮🤮

    • Maria Rev
      Maria Rev Ай бұрын +5

      As a curly haired woman with glasses, I have it even worse. Cause I'm always sent the message that if I straighten my hair and wear contacts I'll suddenly be beautiful.

  • Casandra Chesser
    Casandra Chesser 4 ай бұрын +253

    I HAVE to point out that in Grease, Danny changed for Sandy too, and arguably, his transformation took longer than just a makeover. He spent months trying out various sports, and ended up lettering in track. They BOTH changed for each other. It wasn't just Sandy!

    • Kristen Hanisch
      Kristen Hanisch 2 күн бұрын

      I feel like Danny's change was superficial, though-when he saw her permed and dressed up in leather he chucked his letterman gear and put his leather jacket back on. I have a real problem with that, because it means she had to change for him to keep his outward attention but his change didn't really matter.

    • The Firm
      The Firm 19 күн бұрын

      Danny improves himself sandy doesn’t

    • Asha Vere
      Asha Vere 2 ай бұрын

      He was a complete ass hat throughout the whole rest of the movie and tried to assault her. So what he did some exercise and changed clothes? Big fucking deal. He should have grown a pair, manned up and admitted he was a dick to her and apologize like a REAL man would, but that didn't happen.

    • Shy Violet
      Shy Violet 2 ай бұрын +1

      THIS!!

    • pinklady13
      pinklady13 2 ай бұрын +8

      I think that point is missed a lot because Sandy’s is visually obvious where as Danny has an inner improvement journey.

  • C Smith
    C Smith Ай бұрын +5

    #7 is immensely irritating in any movie especially when the central and/or primary conflict of the film is due to avoidable miscommunication. And yes, it’s common in RomComs.

  • Eboni McCain
    Eboni McCain 4 ай бұрын +208

    Enemies to lovers is my least favorite trope because it teaches women the abuse is apart of love. It sounds extreme but how many times has a little girls complained about a boy and the response is "that means he likes you" disgusting.

    • Ellie F
      Ellie F Ай бұрын

      Enemies to lovers is not abuse, it's two people who butt heads seeing beyond the surface.

    • Asha Vere
      Asha Vere 2 ай бұрын +2

      I literally JUST said this in my comment response to the comment above yours lol. So I absolutely agree. And I agree with the guys here in that if I hate someone, I hate them lol

    • Shy Violet
      Shy Violet 2 ай бұрын +2

      Enemies to lovers is a broad range of different things though.. it could be the, bad first date, where they don't get along because one is too stiff and the other is too aloof and they mis understand each other. Or it could be two ppl on opposite sides of a war that are taught one thing about the other, that their bad ppl etc.. and they fall in love despite that. Or even the rivals from school who are in competition with each other and eventually fall for each other. That's what I think of with enemies to lovers

    • koala
      koala 2 ай бұрын +2

      @Heather Contois sure, I talked about these type of romantic relationships. Sorry if I was misunderstandable

    • Heather Contois
      Heather Contois 2 ай бұрын +3

      @koala I can't teach my 8o to give the middle finger when someone harrasses her. That's barely age appropriate in middle school.

  • Heart Of The Wild
    Heart Of The Wild 4 ай бұрын +114

    I want to see a romcom that all of these things, and subverts them, and the girl ends up with the “safe” guy (who is very much not boring), either because she knows the “attractive” guy is bad for her and she refuses to voluntarily put herself in that situation (maybe she caught him cheating, maybe he hit her while drunk), or because she finds his persistence creepy and the “safe” guy has always respected her boundaries despite being clearly into her.
    I also want to see a romcom where the girl completely reads the guy wrong and he turns out to be gay, and then he ends up dating the girl’s brother or something and she moves on with her life. Just anything to get away from the standard Hallmark “boy meets girl, they hate each other, and now they don’t and they’re in love” movie.

    • Liza Bautista
      Liza Bautista Ай бұрын +1

      Bridget Jones Diary?

    • Heart Of The Wild
      Heart Of The Wild Ай бұрын +3

      @Asha Vere I didn’t say she’s “totally fine with it,” I said she moves on. That being said, her pretending to be fine even when she’s completely heartbroken would make for some interesting drama. Or if you want to make it funny/dramatic with a “bullet dodged” feeling, have them both be from super-rich and highly-influential families and she’s only dating him because her parents won’t shut up about how they make such a sweet couple and how it would be so good for both of their families, and she actually like another girl that she knows her parents will never approve of, and she thinks the guy doesn’t know this and she feels so guilty about it, but he totally does know because he’s doing the same thing with her brother to shut his own parents up (or, for even more drama, maybe neither of them know that the other one is in the same situation as them).
      … now I want to see this story even more. Can somebody turn this into a movie please? Or an anime?

    • Imogen Geier
      Imogen Geier Ай бұрын +1

      That is kind of the Hunger Games trilogy, really!

    • Asha Vere
      Asha Vere 2 ай бұрын +1

      Her liking a guy only for him to be gay and then date her brother and she be "totally fine with it" would never happen irl. My self esteem would be pretty fucking low if a guy I liked chose my brother over me. And it would be a pretty sad concept to a movie genre that's supposed to be uplifting.

    • koala
      koala 2 ай бұрын +5

      Yeah! Same! Once I wrote a story about the 'mean bitch who isn't a little nerd and we all have to hate her for this reason' fell in love with the boring good guy

  • K G
    K G 11 ай бұрын +6367

    I like how in the original non disney version of The Little Mermaid she goes through the transformation for the prince to still choose another girl. Her sisters response to this is 'kill him'. Seems more legit and true to life.

    • dione f.
      dione f.  5 ай бұрын

      @Mik Na ive heard about that!

    • Yana Petruk
      Yana Petruk 5 ай бұрын +2

      Seems like noone saw the little mermaid. She didn’t gove up her voice for a man. She wanted to be a human long before she met him. You all are just reaching

    • Tyoka Bina
      Tyoka Bina 6 ай бұрын

      Let us not forget the symbolic implications of the prince marrying the girl who has a voice.

    • April Beson
      April Beson 6 ай бұрын

      Also, the prince did not fall in love with her

    • Beethoven’s Fidelio
      Beethoven’s Fidelio 7 ай бұрын

      @99telepath99 How was she being misandrist?

  • Catherine M
    Catherine M Ай бұрын +25

    A rom com trope I hate is the “nice guy” trope. Now , I of course love actual nice guys, there’s nothing wrong with them. My problem is with the movie nice guys because although they seem nice, if you look a little closer, they’re kinda horrible. You get this awkward and relatable guy who has been pining for his next-door neighbor or something for years and years and we think it’s sweet and we feel bad for him whenever the girl gets a boyfriend and he gets jealous, when really he does not have the right to be jealous because in all the years he has been in love with her he has never done anything about it, he has never made his feelings clear and yet he expects her to know how he feels and gets mad if she finds someone else. Or you’d get the guy who does all these nice things for the girl and he thinks that because of those nice things he did, she should go out with him as if she owes him.

  • CallieTheWolfCat
    CallieTheWolfCat Ай бұрын +1

    I love the idea of being loved. I do not love watching two men fighting for the same girl. Why? There is a bit of natural jealousy there, but I also feel it's cruel to both sides. If the girl tries to choose one man, and the other isn't having it, that's cruel to her and he clearly doesn't respect her. (You should take legal action if this happens to you.)
    The other side of it, is if she is playing with their emotions. Whether intentional or not, it is something I hate. Sometimes she refuses to just choose, and that is a worse case scenario. However, if she happens to date both of them, without committing to a relationship, then I guess we could say she's dating around, and I personally won't fault her for observing and getting to know her options. (If she has sex with either, she's crossed a line, and there isn't a way back. She's now committed.)

  • Elanchana
    Elanchana 2 ай бұрын +7

    I have to say, if you didn't mention enemies-to-lovers, I would have put a long, angry rant in this comment. 😅
    Buuuuuuut I still want to mention something that irks me about E2L that you guys seemed to brush up against but didn't say outright. A lot of E2L relationships only happen because there's some sort of sexual attraction/tension beyond the blatant personality clash, and it's that sexual attraction that makes them reconsider all their other feelings for each other. Maybe it's my asexual brain not comprehending how sexual tension could possibly occur in those scenarios, but I just can't see how that one point could override all their other problems. This is another big reason E2L works in Pride and Prejudice, because even if they do start out attracted to each other on some level (which I don't think they do but it might be up to interpretation), they don't try to make a crude relationship work *because* of that attraction and instead let their character development take its course and bring them together naturally.

    • Clydesdale
      Clydesdale Ай бұрын +2

      Love this comment! I also agree that if two people genuinely can not stand each other and disagree, but force themselves into a relationship on the basis of sexual thrill... well that's just mutual suffering. I've seen too many people do that to themselves and they always walk away with needless scars. Though I never fully understood sexual attraction or my hormonal peers, so idk.

  • Carrie Stratton
    Carrie Stratton 2 ай бұрын +14

    My husband didn't save me from wolves, but did save me from the insecurity that came from a peeping tom.

  • Gui Caldo
    Gui Caldo  Жыл бұрын +2239

    Gotta admit, I've got a soft spot for the "enemies to lovers" story, but only if there's a "platonic friendship" stage in between. Also, it works a lot better in series where you have more time for them to sort out their differences and slowly start to connect.

    • Anonymously MJ
      Anonymously MJ 2 ай бұрын

      B99 Jake and Amy do this very well

    • koala
      koala 2 ай бұрын

      @Aruki Tsukaru well congratulations for ship two people who are literally tried to kill each other and are perfect definitions to a toxic relationship

    • Alexander Olds
      Alexander Olds 3 ай бұрын

      SW Legends did this brilliantly with Luke and Mara.

    • Handtomouth
      Handtomouth 5 ай бұрын

      @oooh19 ...not necessarily.

    • SelfDestructiveCat
      SelfDestructiveCat 9 ай бұрын

      100%!

  • marina
    marina Ай бұрын +2

    i love romcoms, i watched tons of them
    and only now i understand how much they ruined my view on love and romance and relationships
    i still love them, but now i need to re-educate myself :)

  • Olivia Coe
    Olivia Coe 4 ай бұрын +83

    I think the attraction of a love triangle, if there is one, is the idea that you are so desirable that you have two men fighting each other for your love. Most of the time, it's a fantasy I'm not sure many of us would actually like to encounter in real life.

    • MsJubjubbird
      MsJubjubbird 3 ай бұрын +7

      in real life it's flattering but more annoying. rivals tend not to be grown ups in that situation.

  • Katie Del Key
    Katie Del Key Ай бұрын

    I have had two guys (who i was very close with and had thought were my friends) secretly fighting over me behind my back, and point blank, it sucks. Love triangle gets a 0/10 from me.

  • Steph K
    Steph K Ай бұрын +53

    I feel like I fell in love with my fiancee at first sight. He wouldn't be considered very good looking by many people, but he came into the room in a housecoat, totally unphased by me, a stranger who was visiting someone else in the house, I genuinely felt an immediate upwelling of real affection for his whole vibe, and then he proceeded to talk to me flawlessly and confidently for hours and hours about hugely varied subjects, tried to show me his rc helicopter and nearly hit me with the damn thing, and then we played Minecraft. It's been eight years.

    • Steph K
      Steph K Ай бұрын +1

      @ADifferentVibe .... I never said it did?

    • ADifferentVibe
      ADifferentVibe Ай бұрын +6

      You got lucky and that's awesome. But your situation doesn't apply to everyone in the real world out there.

  • Nicole Tracy
    Nicole Tracy 11 ай бұрын +3496

    My least favorite trope: The miscommunication that could have been clarified in 10 seconds, but is now the basis for the near end of movie break-up, because two adult people are not mature enough to have a damn conversation.

    • Neinnara
      Neinnara 2 ай бұрын +1

      This is what made me stop watching romcoms... Just fucking talk to each other!!!

    • Julián
      Julián 4 ай бұрын +1

      This.
      & then it drags across the entire 3rd arc of the movie or like 5 episodes in a series with the protagonists not talking to each other because
      A) Good filler
      B) The characters can now venture into new story arcs/pairings in the meantime which the writers couldn't do before because the protagonists upon their relationship are always glued to each other for some reason
      C) The writers don't know how to end it yet, so they're making up plot points as they go
      Regardless of the reason, don't do it. It's shit & the audience is one more unnecessary B-plot away from dropping it
      So do better.

    • Xehanort10
      Xehanort10 4 ай бұрын +1

      @Arrowalker3 That's justified by Walt being an egomaniac with too much pride.

    • adhdhamster
      adhdhamster 6 ай бұрын +1

      Literally EVERY episode of supernatural!!! Which I love tbc... But this always drove me INSANE

    • Fire In A Teacup
      Fire In A Teacup 6 ай бұрын +2

      Oh yeah, suuuuper annoying! How fragile is their trust and love that they go to that extreme so quickly?!

  • John Smith
    John Smith Ай бұрын +2

    Normally I skip through the sponsorship parts of videos but I’d feel like I’d miss the best part of the video if I skipped your sponsorship time. It’s SOOO HILARIOUS

  • Cliohna
    Cliohna 5 ай бұрын +242

    2:20 the makeover #1
    3:58 the transformation #2
    6:35 love at first sight #3
    8:34 the rescue #4
    12:25 it's charming because he's attractive #5
    14:08 the fixer-upper #6
    17:20 avoidable miscommunication #7
    19:09 the love triangle #8
    21:19 the big romantic gesture #9
    23:17 enemies to lovers #10
    25:50 honorable mention: rom-com tropes #10.5

  • Nyla Bryant
    Nyla Bryant Ай бұрын +4

    RE: Love Triangle I'm polyamorous and exclusively date polyamorous partners so.. the only time it's a problem is if the third isn't attracted to me.

  • Sydney Brun-Ozuna
    Sydney Brun-Ozuna 2 ай бұрын +27

    The only enemies to lovers trope in real life I know of is my parents, and it’s definitely true looking at them that this sort of trope only works because they learn and grow into better people through their differences and through challenging each other.
    When my parents met in college, my mom was very shy, studious, and serious, and though she didn’t want that to be her entire identity, it was how people had seen her all her life so she stuck to it. My dad was loud, boisterous, and obnoxious, in part because he’s always been a lot of fun, but in part because he always felt people saw him as stupid, so he leaned into that class clown persona.
    When they first met, they despised each other, partially because my dad thought my mom was no fun and my mom thought my dad was annoying, but I think the real reason they hated each other was because they wished they were more like one another.
    So when one night my dad called my mother to tell her he was in her home country for a band trip and wanted her advice on what to do while he was there, they ended up talking the whole night. My dad invited my mom to one of his concerts a week later and that was it. My dad dumped his horrible fiancée, my mom told her parents she was in love and he wasn’t a doctor (trust me, that was a whole thing), and they got married two years later.

  • Liz Orchard
    Liz Orchard 11 ай бұрын +2903

    I love Princess Bubblegum's take on love at first sight: "“What you're feeling is called infatuation. The pain is the product of you overvaluing a projected, imaginary relationship with me.”"

    • Nobody's here
      Nobody's here 6 ай бұрын

      Nice.

    • Vanessa Walsh
      Vanessa Walsh 7 ай бұрын +7

      That goes hand in hand with Garnet's take on love at first sight: "Love at first sight doesn't exist. Love takes time, and love takes work. At the very least, you have to know the other person."

    • Evielicious
      Evielicious 7 ай бұрын

      Oof I was there in middle school to many times

    • Moimoi
      Moimoi 8 ай бұрын

      I dislike princess bubble gum but her relationship with fin could never work

    • Theoplays 3
      Theoplays 3 9 ай бұрын +4

      @Cloudy Nguyen We weren't very close friends, but it did seem like she enjoyed my company a lot when we occasionally met at uni. We were never more than friends though. I rarely think about her, but when I do I can tell I clearly still have non-platonic feelings about her, I don't have the emotional self-awareness or emotional intelligence to know if it is infatuation, legitimate romantic interest or if she has become a symbol of the culmination of my social and emotional shortcomings.
      I do have a life though, and I feel so alive and worthy when I do muay thai sparring

  • Kat Moore
    Kat Moore Ай бұрын +1

    Does getting saved from coyotes count?
    My husband saved our two oldest daughters and myself from coyotes on our property line once. We were playing and picking flowers while he was felling some trees and the younger of our two went a little too far into the tree line and all of a sudden there were at least three coyotes calling to each other right next to her. He ran over, scooped her up and, after we were all in the car, went back to the woods with his gun to shoot them or at least scare them off. We were very surprised they even showed up because of all the noise my husband was making (coyotes are typically pretty skittish). They must have been very hungry.
    Context: at the time our two oldest girls were 4.5 and 2.5. They are now almost 7 and almost 5.

  • 7Write4This9Heart7
    7Write4This9Heart7 2 ай бұрын +42

    The 'miscommunication' trope is MY LEAST FAVE EVER! I hate it in EVERYTHING, shows, movies, etc! It's NEVER done well, no matter what! Stories that would otherwise be much better are RUINED by that, and it's infuriating! THANK YOU for bringing that to light! X'D

  • A.J. (she ! they)
    A.J. (she ! they) Ай бұрын +3

    I don't like calling them love triangles because that implies it goes three ways (the guys would be in love with each other) its more like a love corner and the woman is being shoved {usually creepily and possessively) into it.

  • izzy Hjelmström
    izzy Hjelmström Ай бұрын +2

    the love triangle doesn't appeal to me bc the main person often strings their 2 love options along and someone will get hurt emotionally which sucks

  • Stephanie Bester
    Stephanie Bester Ай бұрын +1

    In real life, I think the person picking usually already knows who they like and who they want. I don't think it's a last second decision very often. I've been in a few and for me it was never really a triangle.

  • Melissa VanNess
    Melissa VanNess Ай бұрын +2

    So, I was in a love triangle for a short period in college, and it was miserable! The guy that was in love with me was also in love with one of my friends, and we all hung out a lot. He would have romantic encounters (I would hardly call them dates, the guy was a jerk) with me, and also with her, and we all knew about it. But I was so insecure that I stayed in the relationship. He was the only person who showed interest in me at the time, and I was desperate for affection. Eventually, another more respectable guy asked me out and I said yes. When I told the love triangle guy about it, he was furious and cursed me out and we never spoke again. Looking back, I really wish I had embraced the truth of my inherent worth and value, and that I deserved much better than the first scum bag who showed interest in me. Today, I am very happily married (not to the scum bag or the other guy) to my husband of 12 years, and I'm learning to stand up for myself and my values.

  • Blessed & Favored
    Blessed & Favored Ай бұрын +44

    The rom-com I like the most is more of an anti-rom-com. "How Do You Know" with Paul Rudd, Owen Wilson, and Reese Witherspoon. It had a few tropes but it was also the anti-trope. The "grand gesture" was a quiet, private moment between the two of them. They did all the funny goofy stuff but it really focused on what REALLY matters in a relationship.. not what's most exciting.

    • Lava Bommert
      Lava Bommert Ай бұрын +3

      Definitely gonna watch that one sounds nice and comforting

  • Faye
    Faye Ай бұрын +1

    I actually HATE it when there's a love triangle. They almost always go with the more toxic person which drives me crazy. I honestly avoid watching/reading it if I know one of the key features is a love triangle

    • LittleRed951
      LittleRed951 Ай бұрын

      Finally someone agrees with me!🤣🤣🤣

  • Regan Fenske
    Regan Fenske 4 ай бұрын +35

    Personally I like a love triangle if it's done really well. I hate when there's a forced love triangle with one person clearly better for the main character/ better overall or when both options are equally terrible and pushing it too hard. One of my favorite examples of a love triangle is in Zoe's Extraordinary Playlist. Both guys are very different and she has a different dynamic with each of them so it explores the different kinds of bonds you have and if it can be love or just close friendship. The guys actually end up being friends too which is nice cause they're not fighting over Zoe, they both just happen to have a deep connection with her and it's up to her to figure out what she wants.

  • Michelle B.
    Michelle B. 4 ай бұрын +12

    I heard of something someone called "The
    Danny Devito Rule," where if changing the
    actor to Danny Devito made the character a
    psycho, they were always a psycho.

  • Kyle Rivera
    Kyle Rivera 3 ай бұрын +24

    My favorite romcom is definitely "Kaguya-sama: Love is War" since it actually remembers to include the "com" portion of "romcom" while also making it fit well into the show.
    For anyone interested in checking it out, Kaguya-sama is an anime about two people who are part of the student council at a high class school who love each other, but refuse to admit it because of their pride. Because of that they create all these weird schemes to trick the other into confessing their love first. It's surprisingly funny and is definitely worth checking out.

  • A DeL
    A DeL 3 ай бұрын +32

    Damn, you guys described my ex husband. As soon as we split he went back to being that partying it up single guy. He's not a bad person, he just hid his true intentions well. I'm better off because I found someone that met me at my worst and has loved me since. I actually fell in love with my husband online chatting about our failed marriages. We got to know each other and help each other heal and grow. For once I'm truly happy with my spouse but myself as well.

  • DarkWolf
    DarkWolf 10 ай бұрын +2373

    8:45 I have been saved FROM a man BY a wolf. My parents had wolves, random guy showed up in the yard and started talking to kid-me. Wolves didn't like how the guy was walking toward me and surrounded me baring their teeth at him. He wisely decided to move on. Lol

    • dione f.
      dione f.  5 ай бұрын

      username and pfp checks out

    • Handtomouth
      Handtomouth 5 ай бұрын

      Gotta save the damsel in distress fron the evil man, even wolves know this :)

    • Heather S
      Heather S 6 ай бұрын

      @zenfrodo Me too!

    • Maya Jowata
      Maya Jowata 6 ай бұрын

      This is freaking awesome and I absolutely need to see this in a movie sometime
      But also, props to those wolves for recognizing the threat and defending their friend

    • Kerryann
      Kerryann 7 ай бұрын

      @Tate Tousey Wolves are magnificent. Thank you for the work you do.

  • Ellie F
    Ellie F Ай бұрын

    The oddest thing about Sandy in Grease is... now they are BOTH living a lie. From what the movie tells us, the real Danny is the guy she met on her summer holiday. Or, if Sandy being a "bad girl" is her true self, which is I think what we're supposed to believe, then *Danny* has to live the lie to be with her. Either way, we never get any indication the person Danny is in most of the movie is who Danny actually is, so he lives a lie.
    I love the *drama* of a fictional love triangle, but I'd hate to be in one. Because it sucks. The ones I see IRL are A->BC. B is with a controlling, abusive partner, A, and B wants out, but A has a chokehold on the finances. B is attracted to someone else, C, who treats them decently and likes them back, but A's hold on B always seems to win because B can't tell A they don't want to be together because A always flips out and just takes tighter control of B's life, and B is at the core of things, a victim of abuse.
    Enemies to lovers is fine if done right. It's usually not done well in film because they don't have the time, and they usually make the reasons they don't like each other *perfectly understandable* like "You've Got Mail" where Tom Hanks is trying to ruin Meg Ryan bookshop. She shouldn't ever love him because he is actively trying to destroy everything she loves and has no real qualms about it. But then you have like, James and Lily Potter, where James stops putting on this personality and matures and only *then* does Lily fall for him. Which is why Snape and Lily would never work, as he expected her to change and I stand by my stance that he would have been an abusive husband to Lily. Not physically, but in a controlling way.
    Things I hate in romcoms in no particular order:
    1. Big romantic gesture. It's entrapment. Case in point a guy asked a girl to prom AT AN ASSEMBLEY IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL and she was very pressured into saying yes, but later had to tell him no.
    2. The transformation/makeover being *necessary* instead of just one thing on the list. The problem with them is they're usually what tips someone over to fall in love, not them already being in love and seeing them dressed up. Cinderella is the exception to this because her getting dressed up is a literal disguise.
    3. It's charming because he's hot. No it is not.
    4. Persistence will get you the girl. Specifically that the guy can just annoy or harass the girl into loving him and changing what *she* likes or "realising" what she wanted wasn't what she wanted.
    5. Manic Pixie Dream Girl. This kind of goes with fixer-upper, ngl.
    6. Miscommunication, my god. Especially because it's usually one thing.
    7. Born Yesterday, where the girl is uninformed of basic things like sandwiches or electricity, and this boring, usually slovenly, nobody of a guy gets to show her things. Time travel will do this, other worldly ones will do this (ie, aliens, robots, mermaids, fairies), or there's like the sheltered girl if they want it to be 100% no fantasy elements. But the point usually is this beautiful woman with a child's brain is needing to rely on a man and it feels so gross. Which reminds me...
    8. Ugly Guy, Hot Wife. It's rarely done right. She's usually treated as a trophy, and he's the gawky, fugly dork who she falls for because... reasons... even though he's misogynistic and awful, but he's funny so it's fine. I think Roger and Jessica Rabbit nail this trope as do Gomez and Morticia (per source material, not Raul Julia), but most romcoms aimed at men (comroms, I call them, as the comedy is the focus) are just bad at this.
    9. Lying. Stop lying. It's gross. Unless you have a good reason to lie (ie, hiding your absurd wealth to weed out gold diggers), don't lie.
    10. Love Triangles, but only when there's already commitment between two people and the relationship is healthy and the middle of the triangle isn't a prize to be won (ie, two guys trying to win a bet on who can win a girl's affections, or two girls fighting over a guy for status or whatever).

  • FullmetalandtheFlame
    FullmetalandtheFlame Ай бұрын +2

    6:54 “Look, I get it. It’s Oscar Isaac. Once you get to know him, he’s still Oscar Isaac. It’ll be fine”
    Hahaha so true though. Love the Oscar Isaac love on this channel. It speaks to me.

  • Katie E
    Katie E Ай бұрын +10

    I saw a tweet or something once that said "are you actually in love with the enemies to lovers trope or do you just love the idea of someone seeing you at your worst and still loving you?" and it has f'ed me up ever since hahaha

  • Kaya Higham
    Kaya Higham Ай бұрын +1

    The love triangles aren't even love triangles, they're love Vs because both men are in love with the woman and she is typically in love with both of the men, but the two competing men aren't in love with each other, in fact they tend to hate each other so if you drew it out, the third side of the triangle would be incomplete. I know this is a technicality and please take this with a grain of salt, I tend to be very literal about things and this is my opinion

  • gnvTWhp
    gnvTWhp 11 ай бұрын +1149

    "I’ve become skeptical of the unwritten rule that just because a boy and girl appear in the same feature, a romance must ensue. Rather, I want to portray a slightly different relationship, one where the two mutually inspire each other to live - if I’m able to, then perhaps I’ll be closer to portraying a true expression of love."
    - Hayao Miyazaki.
    Love is not just an emotion. Love is a promise, a promise help each other, not hurt each other. (Paraphrasing from Doctor Who)

    • ParadiseCrystal
      ParadiseCrystal 7 ай бұрын

      This is weird because a LOT of his movies have romance between the leads…. Like 90% of them…

    • Dena Wagner
      Dena Wagner 9 ай бұрын +5

      Big fan of Miyazaki and I agree with his quote. I watched a movie recently on Netflix called 'The Half of It' that exemplified the power of a male/female non-romanric relationship that was built on the bones of the story of Cyrno DeBegergac (SP?). Two high schoolers begin a friendship based on a mutual appreciation of a third character, yet the one seeking love can't express themselves well and seeks the help of the other. The relationship that began as a business transaction becomes what seems to be leading to a lifelong friendship, regardless of the success of their shared endeavor with the third party. I don't want to spoil it so I won't say more, but it's a movie that would make an excellent and possibly challenging episode I'd love to hear both your opinions on.

    • Cherish
      Cherish 9 ай бұрын

      the doctor who paraphrase reminds me of the scene where is talking to a different version of herself about rory, how that when you get to know someone that 'their face becomes them'

    • Amber Hill
      Amber Hill 9 ай бұрын +4

      To summarize and paraphrase a reddit post I once saw "Love is not found, no more than the old temples in the jungles are found, the good land to build on is found yes, but the love is built upon it."

    • Jay
      Jay 9 ай бұрын +3

      The "read more" cut off the end of the quote and I was thinking to myself "Huh, this sounds like a Ghibli movie"

  • LazyDays
    LazyDays Ай бұрын +1

    Did they ever cover Bridget Jones's Diary? I want to see that!!

  • Kiki293
    Kiki293 3 ай бұрын +10

    I had to do a personal interest project for my society & culture class in high school and I actually picked the misrepresentation of love and conflict resolution in Hollywood romantic films as my topic and had to look at it from a sociological perspective. I love what these guys are saying and cause I'm in a relationship it really bothered me watching all these movies and seeing these tropes cause it's attraction at first sight, not love. Obviously I still have some rom-com favs but I'm talking bout the trashy ass Kissing Booth movies and 365 days sorta thing so thank you guys for deconstructing the tropes :)

  • Emily Mosher
    Emily Mosher 2 ай бұрын +4

    I'd like to offer a different interpretation of Ariel. Ariel was my princess as a young budding girl scientist and here is why: Ariel is underwater Indiana Jones. Look at her in the opening sequence battling sharks to retrieve artifacts from her favorite culture!!! I saw her as an archaeologist, and a brave one. I would have gladly signed a sea witch contract to travel back to the Devonian time period. No reading of fine print required. (Healthy? Maybe not. but bad choices make for great characters) Eric was only the catalyst for Ariel to finally do what she'd wanted to do all along. Many people say 'how unfeminist. she gave up her voice.' But Ariel didn't care about her voice. Her family valued her voice, but she ditched the concert to go raid a shipwreck for human treasures. Even Eric values her voice above all else. It takes her losing it altogether to see the real Ariel (The one who blows the snarfblat at the fancy dinner. The one who grabs the reins of the horses and whips them up into a gallop, the one who grabs the puppets off the hands at the puppet show...the fun, curious, enthusiastic maniac that she is. She is SOOO much more than a pretty voice). Ursula bewitches Eric using HER VOICE. Her family wants her to be a demure, singing mermaid. But Ariel is a flawed, goofball who is singularly obsessed with her favorite field of study. To me, The Little Mermaid wasn't the story of a princess getting her prince, but someone reaching for the life they really wanted, even if it didn't make sense to anyone else. Eric was just a pretty fashion accessory that came with the legs--which were the real point of the transformation.

  • thequeerfantastic
    thequeerfantastic 3 ай бұрын +10

    I would love to see y'all do a video on While You Were Sleeping! I saw some footage of it in there, during the love triangle section. Which is interesting because I really don't see that movie as a love triangle at all. Not me nitpicking! I genuinely would just be curious to hear your thoughts on the movie, because even though it is unrealistic in some typical rom-com ways (getting engaged super quickly, dramatic break-up at the altar), I think it also both subverts a lot of tropes and really highlights a form of love that I have ALWAYS found more relatable and aspirational than 90% of what most rom-coms show.

  • Rachel Rak
    Rachel Rak 9 ай бұрын +1838

    Fun fact about Matthew McConaughey: he was so sick of doing rom-com acting that he took a multi-year hiatus and refused dozens of offers because he was ONLY offered rom-com movie leads. He waited until he was offered anything outside of the genre.

    • Brenne Allen
      Brenne Allen Ай бұрын

      he’s so good in ‘a time to kill’ too!

    • S L
      S L 6 ай бұрын +1

      @Locormus2 Oh, no, nonono: Reign of Fire. Pure magic.

    • Nobody's here
      Nobody's here 6 ай бұрын

      Wow!... That's sad.

    • Mystic Mind
      Mystic Mind 7 ай бұрын +3

      I don't blame him. It would be like if Hugh Jackman can only get a role in a movie if he was naked and/or put in bondage.

    • ChickenMccZoe
      ChickenMccZoe 7 ай бұрын

      What a fucking flex.

  • C Bessette
    C Bessette 2 ай бұрын +3

    8) I always call it a "love angle" because a triangle infers at least one bi participant (every member must have a relationship with the other two)
    The trope is annoying mostly to me. However, a good relationship (that isn't an angle, but similar) is in Mamma Mia, where Sophie has 3 possible dads, and instead of fighting over her and Donna, they all end up best friends and "one-third" of Sophie's "real dad." This I love, very wholesome

  • Cierra David
    Cierra David 2 ай бұрын +3

    I AM DYING at "Whatever that was."

  • Valery K
    Valery K 2 ай бұрын +6

    My favourite romcom is Penelope. It's so smart, lovely and charming in all ways. Also though it is about romantic love, the main idea is that sometimes instead of finding someone to love/save you, it's quite enough to love yourself and accept as you are. Both main characters grow and change after getting to know each other, so they can finally be together in the end. And that makes this movie best for me.

  • Sandra M
    Sandra M Ай бұрын +3

    Love the banter between you. It is obvious that you have a strong friendship and respect one another. Thanks for sharing your insights with us!

  • Jesse Orange
    Jesse Orange 11 ай бұрын +3789

    I once read this text post that basically said: "The way love triangles are often written is kind of bad because it's two people backing someone into a corner, and it's usually a woman." Blew my mind.

    • Nyan Ninja232
      Nyan Ninja232 5 ай бұрын +1

      that’d be a thruple, or polyamorojs couple, not a love triangle. imo, the much better result

    • Joanna Broman
      Joanna Broman 6 ай бұрын

      ​@Presstostart HAHAHA, ah yes - I actually saw something like this in real life 30 years ago.
      Given the participants were in their early twenties, the story ended after a few months with the guys cornering the girl and asking her choose one. As I heard it, she explained to them that they were both individually free to either stop dating her or continue. Then she excused herself and left.
      Ah youth and their quirky ways of navigating love and relationships. To this day, I am not sure if she was an asshole or just very honest. I just chalk it up to being young tbh.

    • No One
      No One 6 ай бұрын +2

      Pretty much. In my case, it was my husband's best friend in high school acting like he had claimed me all cause I had met him first. I really liked my husband and only ever saw his friend as a friend. His friend hated this. He threw a fit, called me a whore when I chose my husband, and got himself a therapist to deal with me being a selfish bitch. Everything I just said was legitimate. He stopped being friends with us, attempted to date a lot of my friends (which never worked out well) and then now whenever we see him in town, he kinda hides. I hated being in a love triangle against my will. My decision was to be with my husband (15 years strong now) and I never even batted an eye at his friend. It's insane!

    • clerbie
      clerbie 7 ай бұрын +4

      i also hate how love triangles with 2 men and a woman usually make one man do something last minute that is unsavory or dumb so you no longer route for him and it forces her choice? like they said Sweet home Alabama is the only one that doesnt do this. I also never agree with the choice most of the women make, as its usually the toxic choice?

    • Crystal Clear A.k.a. MissYoko
      Crystal Clear A.k.a. MissYoko 7 ай бұрын +1

      Yup the pressure leads her to choose but later might mostly likely regret her choice.

  • yeshe wanitschek
    yeshe wanitschek 2 ай бұрын +1

    Oh, can you pleeeeeese talk about isn't it romantic? Plese!!! 🥺🙏
    That would be so funny

  • Violetta Velvet
    Violetta Velvet Ай бұрын

    I'm a woman an I hate the triangle trope because I always felt it was so unrealistc to have to beautiful, often rich or wonderful guys, sometimes even more, suddently fall head over heels for the same girl, many times the guys being complete oposites..... and I would hate been in that position because I would have to hurt one of them and would maybe wonder if i made the right choice..... not my cup of tea at all.....

  • T.B. Creek
    T.B. Creek Ай бұрын

    I already wanted to ask you two to watch DOC HOLLYWOOD. But after seeing this, I really want you to do what you do with DOC HOLLYWOOD!

  • Senec Vinitor
    Senec Vinitor Ай бұрын +10

    As a girl I can tell say a thing or two about experiencing "love triangles" and as guys already communicated to audience, yes, they feel awfully awkward and uncomfortable. I needed to choose between two guys and from my perspective the choice was kinda obvious for the second. First guy was a hook up, which I communicated to him, but he apparently really liked me, and in the end on the last date I just slipped outta bar when he was distracted to never see him again. He was too much and I felt bad because of running away from someone seeking my company. It is flattering to be femme fatale, but also you feel disgusting. And these guys haven't even intersected in any way (I'm from the capital, da big city is da big city), but gosh I feel so awkward when in romantic films two simps are constantly around each other. It must be such a painful and hurtful tension being around/knowing your competitor. I am monogamous and capable of feeling strong jealousy, and it hurts af. I don't know who you need to be to calmly allow strong jealousy among close people.

  • Trina Q
    Trina Q  Жыл бұрын +4387

    I've always depised the makeover trope, where an already gorgeous girl is given frumpy clothes, glasses or a ponytail, and nobody realises her "True Beauty" until the big reveal. One of the tropes that "Not Another Teen Movie" brilliantly parodied.

    • Sharan
      Sharan 3 ай бұрын

      "and don't forget the overalls" 😂

    • Xehanort10
      Xehanort10 3 ай бұрын

      And the girl they try to make frumpy and ugly is usually hotter than the "popular hot girl."

    • Squirrel
      Squirrel 7 ай бұрын +1

      So I just watched the DUFF where I really like how they handled this trop. While the movie does follow a lot of the common tropes of its genre, when it comes to the transformation scene she doesn't really look all that different. And they never really cast a supermodel girl and put her in frumpy clothing to make her less attractive so they can make her more attractive when they put her in tight clothing. And the character even has a monologue about it how basically she just feels like herself but in a nicer dress. Oh no I liked how that part was hit I thought it was pretty good.

    • MJ
      MJ 7 ай бұрын

      Or her natural hair is considered ugly but THEN she straightens it and suddenly everybody's heads are turning 😭😭

    • Xehanort10
      Xehanort10 8 ай бұрын

      Especially when her wearing glasses is treated like a deformity.

  • Hester Parnham-Ellis
    Hester Parnham-Ellis Ай бұрын

    If I was in a love triangle, & there's 2 men involved, I would choose me!

  • Angela Wintering
    Angela Wintering 2 ай бұрын +8

    About the love triangle problem:
    I’ve been part of a love triangle, two women and one man, and I hated it. He told me pretty early on that he was kinda into both of us, and my naive freshman brain said “oh he just needs time.” But the entire time I knew he was kinda stringing both of us along and I had no clue what to do because at the time, I wanted him to choose me. I told him multiple times that this wasn’t good and he needed to make up his mind, and when he did, it ended up the other way.
    In retrospect I’m very glad that it did, but the TLDR of it all is that the best solution to a love triangle can be challenging the person in the middle to figure out what they actually want/need before all of them get hurt.
    Love you guys!! Keep up the amazing work!!

  • Zoie Drey
    Zoie Drey 4 ай бұрын +8

    "As a woman, how do you feel about watching love triangles?"
    If you don't love either of them enough to to have an obvious choice, you don't love either of them enough. When you're in a committed relationship you choose that person every day. If you can't decide whether or not to choose them at the start that's a problem.

  • Asha Vere
    Asha Vere 2 ай бұрын +3

    I'M SO GLAD YOU FINALLY CALLED OUT JACOB FROM TWILIGHT!! It always pissed me off when little fan girls would gush over him and said that him assaulting Bella by forcing her to kiss him was "hot" and that she wanted it too 😑😑😑 and don't even get me started on the psychopath from You.....I'm also sick of the "you're nice and all, but you're boring" and the bs makeover tropes too. I feel like a lot of guys are like that, they're this basic ass dude that friend zones a great woman because they want some hot blonde bombshell that doesn't exist or they just want to f*ck around, literally and figuratively. But anyways, I'll end my monologue there.

  • Marcus Dirk
    Marcus Dirk  Жыл бұрын +943

    The best "makeover" handling was in Nanny McPhee: scullery maid Evangeline gets a makeover and nobody recognises her - except Cedric, who already loved her and says "She's always looked like that."

    • ell
      ell 11 ай бұрын

      omg i forgot about that movie. huge part of my childhood lol

    • Beauty and the Boat
      Beauty and the Boat 11 ай бұрын +5

      Don’t forget that Nanny McPhee was also made over. As the children became better behaved and thought of her differently, she became more beautiful. Could be that they were seeing her insides and how much she cared but it was subtle and another reason that I loved that movie.

    • Teresa Ellis
      Teresa Ellis 11 ай бұрын +2

      Awwww! I am melting with happiness! 🥰Cedric is a gem.

    • Julia Runn
      Julia Runn 11 ай бұрын +5

      Now I need to rewatch that movie cause nanny McPhee was my CHILDHOOD

    • burieVropride
      burieVropride 11 ай бұрын +3

      🥺💕

  • abfg616
    abfg616 2 ай бұрын +6

    One thing I love about Bojack Horseman is that Mister Peanutbutter and Diane's relationship continually subverted the big romantic gesture thing because the gestures were the thing tearing apart their relationship, and each time were kinda meant to be the thing that made up for the last big gesture

  • Morgan Hyde
    Morgan Hyde Ай бұрын +2

    Yes, love triangles with two dues were appealing especially when I was younger because I wanted to be desired. Who doesn't? As an adult it still seems a little appealing as an fantasy but not appealing in reality. The logistics and absolute guarantee of heartbreak are depressing.

  • A Nerd with a Piano
    A Nerd with a Piano Ай бұрын +4

    To answer the love triangle question, I give the most frustrating response I'm sure you guys are very familiar with: it depends on the scenario. There are some love triangles that are healthier or less healthier than others (in a sense). Ultimately the girl should be able to make her choice, and it should be respected. But the relationships that develop as a result of the triangle can be tricky and very dependent on all points of the triangle. Me and a girl were two ends of a couple distinct love triangles, and I saw each end very differently. One ended with another guy completely severing ties with both of us, and the other ended with the three of us all still being very close friends, and ultimately it was because there either wasn't or was actual friendship behind the romantic interest, or the guy either respected or didn't respect the girl's choice.
    Everyone deals with them differently, and something I have come to discover is that once a girl "picks" a guy, the key is not to pursue more and try to "win" her - because girls aren't prizes - it's to back off and either maintain or foster a friendship. Just because the girl picks someone else doesn't make them any less amazing, and if you're attracted to someone, it's always worth pursuing a friendship.
    I wish more people realized that, because while it wouldn't mean less heartbreak in the world, it would mean more salvaged friendships.

  • Maggie In Da Woods
    Maggie In Da Woods 8 күн бұрын

    This is why I love “Always Be My Maybe” because it’s a great romcom that manages to avoid most of these (there are misunderstandings and a big romantic gesture). Yes, the man is presented as a “fixer upper” but he does the fixing up himself and both characters grow and get better because of each other

  • Synchronizor
    Synchronizor 7 ай бұрын +1663

    To give some credit to the animated Beauty and the Beast, the wolf attack scene is not there to serve as a romantic gesture, but for Beast to act in an altruistic, selfless way for the first time in the movie. And it doesn’t cause Belle to fall in love with him, but to see him as a human rather than a monster. A flawed human for sure, and he has much more work to do before anything close to a romantic connection can happen, but it’s the first step on his journey in the film.

    • Amanda Pack
      Amanda Pack 3 ай бұрын

      That’s just a lot of different words to ultimately say the same thing. He demonstrated his value to her and it led to her falling in love with him.

    • Holly J
      Holly J 4 ай бұрын

      I definitely saw it this way too.
      Also at the end of the movie, Belle comes back to save Beast. Without her return, he is too depressed even to defend himself. They traded off saving each other.

    • Kit
      Kit 5 ай бұрын +2

      @LilyRose89 yeah I agree with this.
      I think the real moment that Beast showed he could be selfless was when he told Belle to go help her father. He knew that she may never come back and that he could be dooming himself, but he did it anyway.
      Granted...that also means he'd dooming everyone in the castle....
      I think Beauty and the Beast, when looked at as a story about a man learning to trust and open up to someone after years of isolation, isn't bad. It's just not a particularly good love story.

    • Maira
      Maira 6 ай бұрын +6

      @LilyRose89 You know, ever since I was a kid I've been curious as to why the Beast chased her in the first place because from the way he looked after he yelled at her, I thought he had realized his mistake and given up. Back then and even now, I want to believe that he did it because he knew how dangerous the forest was (this is a frequent explanation I've found on internet). The only problem is that he (unlike other adaptations of the character), doesn't seem to leave the Castle often enough to know; maybe he did before and as the years went by, he became more and more isolated? (The hopelessness and torture of living in his cursed body must not be the only thing that soured his already flawed character so much; being locked in his room and pushing everyone else away by terrorizing them must have also contributed). I was also thinking of the possibility that he simply saw through the window part of the wolf pack.
      But this is certainly an interesting interpretation! It takes away some of the nobility of the rescue but, it makes the sequence of events more intriguing; how the Beast has the fortuitous opportunity to transform his selfish and dastardly act into a gentle, self-sacrificing and humane one. Not only does he save her, he saves himself too.

    • Overseeer2579
      Overseeer2579 6 ай бұрын +9

      @Love and Ukes sure, but we’re you really surprised? That’s the Disney remake way. They change things that don’t need to be changed, and eliminate elements that were absolutely crucial to the original

  • Patrick Kanas
    Patrick Kanas 3 ай бұрын +8

    I've been in a love triangle. A girl I had feelings for was in a relationship with my friend and it sucked for me. I simply carried on with life as usual and let them be. In the end it was for the best because I eventually was able to move on my feelings and by the time their relationship ended and she was single I didn't pursue her because I realized that we were never meant to be

  • Kristen Hanisch
    Kristen Hanisch 2 күн бұрын

    The love triangle was often a bit of a sore point for me. I had enough trouble getting one guy interested enough to want to go on a second date with me, so the idea that a girl could have two guys vying for her attentions at the same time sometimes felt like an insult for a shy, nerdy girl in glasses.

  • Skinny Dipper
    Skinny Dipper Күн бұрын

    These themes in the beginning remind me of every toxic rel I had growing up where I matched my partner and lost myself as an individual.
    I dont really believe in love at first sight either. I believe there can be an immediate attraction between two people. It was like that when I met my husband to be for the first time after meeting him online. We just clicked. This relationship was everything my last relationships WERENT. My husband is a country man and my exes were city folk 😂

  • onedaysomedays
    onedaysomedays Ай бұрын

    I'm a sucker for love triangles as a movie trope.. It's not so much about a personal fantasy, but the thrill of "who will she choose", like who will win the tournament kind of dumb entertainment. As a teenager I loved a Japanese drama series Hana Yori Dango which hits most of these tropes btw, it had the juiciest love triangle.

    • OᄆO
      OᄆO 10 күн бұрын

      I watch the korean version of hana yori dango when I was a teenager and I just watch it mostly because the handsome actors, beautiful setting/scenery and good music. I'm not really taking in the romantic stuff. It's obvious that she would choose the lead male lol.

  • Botond Hetyey
    Botond Hetyey 9 ай бұрын +1528

    A trope I hate soo much in romcoms is the "giving up everything for them" thing. There is that Nicholas Cage movie, where he is a literal angel, who gives up immortality just to be with the love interest.
    You shouldn't be giving up everything for your partner, it's damn unhealthy to not have boundaries.

    • S. Hopkins
      S. Hopkins 2 ай бұрын

      @R. Babylon Wings of Desire? It is a German film. Filmed in stunning Berlin.

    • Viktoria Havas
      Viktoria Havas 6 ай бұрын

      you shouldn’t give things up for love? that’s a healthy and realistic way of looking at things :-D

    • R. Babylon
      R. Babylon 7 ай бұрын +2

      Check out the original french version of that film. Much better

    • kyerinn
      kyerinn 7 ай бұрын +3

      I love that movie, “City of Angels.” I see what you’re saying and on the surface Seth did ultimately choose to give up his immortality after he fell in love with Maggie. BUT! His interest in mortality didn’t start with her.
      Throughout the movie, he had an intense curiosity of the concept of “living.” When he helped souls cross over, he would always ask them “what was your favorite part of living?” and he would reminisce with his fellow angel about the answers. The story did a great job of building on his longing to experience life - his falling in love was the impetus that pushed him to finally choose.
      And yes, the ending was bittersweet. But then, so is life. He continued living.

    • valathor95
      valathor95 7 ай бұрын

      I’d give up immortality for a lot less.

  • Laura Rowen
    Laura Rowen 4 ай бұрын +5

    My favorite ways for love triangles to end in film is for either a.) if it's two men fighting over one woman, then the men end up getting together (and vice versa) or b.) the three characters end up forming a polyamorous relationship.

  • Víctor Mello
    Víctor Mello 3 ай бұрын +4

    Super late to the party here, but I've been in a love triangle before and it is, in fact, terrible. It's a structure that inherently turns romantic feelings into a power struggle between everyone. In my case, it was me and another dude who were both crazy in love with the same girl for like a year. The other dude kept following her around everywhere in a suffocating fashion and playing the best friend part, and it always seemed like it was more about ensuring no one else was around her and marking his territory. For her it was 100% about the attention; if she didn't commit to one of us, she could have two guys pining over her at all times. For me it was a lot of actively avoiding being in her presence because it was a shitty situation to be in, and hiding my feelings because I didn't want to be hurt. On the one hand it was good because she liked me more than the other guy (probably because I didn't seem so desperate) but it also sucks to be in a situation where you're in a dispute with the person you love over your own pride, or when you start hating someone you don't know and for no good reason other than your own entitlement.
    So yeah, avoid at all costs.

  • Finch Bird🔥
    Finch Bird🔥 2 ай бұрын +3

    I've dealt with a love triangle and there is one key turning point that I noticed. If you are more comfortable talking to one or the other and who can't imagine retelling everything to anyone else thats the guy to go with. Additionally, if you are constantly experiancing awkward silences with one person but not the other, go for the other person. You should be comfortable in silence together

  • Axiniana
    Axiniana 4 ай бұрын +3

    Oooooh, I've seen this one take on "enemies to lovers" on tumblr and I thought it belongs here!
    It states that a lot of us are so attracted to this trope is because when people are enemies, they've probably already seen the worst in (and of) each other, and if they STILL manage to overcome it, their relationship has a very solid fundament. Like they won't be scared if a bad day arrives because, look, if you've already tried to kill each other with your wife three times, her temper tantrum after a stressful work meeting won't throw you off.

  • PsychedelicPegasus
    PsychedelicPegasus 11 ай бұрын +1386

    A big romantic gesture for me was when I told my partner, during conversations over the years that we'd been together, that I did not want to be proposed to in public. I did NOT want a big song and dance and I really disliked it when the parents are asked for permission *barf*. One morning about a year ago I woke up to my guy kneeling beside the bed with a ring. When he asked me to marry him I was comfy, cosy and warm in our bed. I said yes, and then I asked him to marry me. He said yes too. He told my family beforehand what he was going to do. It was respectful, a courtesy, but it wasn't seeking permission. It was perfect.

    • Mica
      Mica 10 ай бұрын +4

      @wyterabitt She mentioned them conversing about the topic so I imagine if he held different wishes he would have mentioned them. While it's possible he yielded and compromised it's also possible he wished for the same & her expressing her wishes may have made it easier on him. Allowing him to propose in a situation that would be the most comfortable for her to make such a grand decision in.
      In a loving relationship the answer may hold more importance than the "how".

    • Lunabear
      Lunabear 10 ай бұрын +2

      @wyterabitt Mine was a mutual discussion. We both laughed at what our worst ideas of proposals would be. Thankfully we agree on most things. If we don’t we either let it be or compromise if need be 👍🏻

    • Keywii Plays
      Keywii Plays 10 ай бұрын +3

      @wyterabitt You're what's wrong with freedom of speech.

    • wyterabitt
      wyterabitt 10 ай бұрын

      @Keywii Plays Some people always quick to ignore red flags when the circumstances are preferred.
      The only thing they described at all is years of making sure their partner better not do something they don't like, repeatedly. And succeeding.
      And you twisted it into a nice thing that should be celebrated just because that's what you want it to be rather than any part of what they actually said (hey look I can make definitive statements about your intent as well, I must be clever like you).

    • Keywii Plays
      Keywii Plays 10 ай бұрын +7

      @wyterabitt Did you want them to describe every conversation they had with their partner for multiple years in a youtube video?
      It was a nice sentiment of one people not wanting something, and their partner respecting that in a show of wholesome love and compassion you don't see normally and you twisted it into a manipulation on the part of the OP because of how they worded it and what they didn't say.
      Don't do this.

  • Kathryn
    Kathryn 4 ай бұрын +6

    So when I was young, I did enjoy the love triangle but not the two guys fighting over a girl, I enjoyed the suspense of not knowing who the main girl was going to end up with. As 30+ woman, I'm now in the mindset of "don't mess around with multiple guys, it won't end well no matter who you pick if you don't take things seriously from the start."

  • Lily9
    Lily9 Ай бұрын

    I actually had a wholesome enemies to lovers experience in my life when I was around- 5-8 years old?
    Summer daycare there were these girl and her friends. When we first met we hated each other. Were rude to each other, did everything to get in each other’s way.
    Then one day, I found out her and her friends really liked Littlest Pet Shop toys. As did I. We actually bonded over this and became fast friends. The best of friends really.
    Eventually our normal caretaker banned the toys so the girl and I would actually devise plans to sneak the toys into daycare when our other, more lenient caretaker was around.
    It was such a long time ago, but I still remember it to this day from just how impactful the friendship was to me. Love comes in many different forms and of course this episode is based on romantic/sexual love, but I’m here to simply tell a cute story of little kids hating each other for, seemingly no reason, and then deciding they actually like each other once they realize they have more in common than they thought.
    The memory makes me smile and I hope it makes you guys at Cinema Therapy smile. ❤ Have a great Christmas everyone.

  • limora74
    limora74 2 ай бұрын +1

    Dude, I have been in a few love triangles. The way I handled them varied by my maturity and the situation. I have had two guys like me and I have had a guy I like that another girl liked. One of them is now my husband. 😃
    So in answer to your question; my first one that I can remember was two guys pinning for me and I liked one over the another. I was in high school and did not handle it well. They both knew I was going on dates with the other. Our culture is more of a "go on dates in high school, don't go steady" so it wasn't cheating.
    So.... Between my junior year of high school and senior year, my oldest brother got married. Well, we were all going to the wedding reception in a different city. So I planned a whole day of hanging out with all of us kinda to show that I liked boy A over boy B. This was because Boy B had started acting a little too much like a boyfriend, and I didn't know what prompted it but I wanted to curb it without actually saying anything. At the time, I thought it would be easier to show than tell. It sure was and it sure was a jerk move on my part.
    I had never actually been with both of them at the same time before because we all loved in different cities. 😫 I was terrible! Each boy was clearly confident that I liked him better than the other guy so they were trying to be territorial with me, I was sitting in the middle but I only let boy A put his arm around me, boy A would smirk at boy B. Stuff like that. Kind and subtle right?
    I had two other friends there besides the guys: their younger sisters, who were my age. They were basically watching it unfold with popcorn and 3 D glasses. Definitely movie script worthy.
    I made it very clear that I liked boy A better without actually saying so. I should have just dismissed myself and told them to stop being childish, but I was enjoying having two guys fight over me. 😫 😖
    Well, boy B had a major breakdown after the whole incident. He called me, crying. He thought we were about to go steady since he had just graduated high school and I would graduate in a year. He had told his parents that we were basically dating. I had been to his family birthday dinner, supported him at school events and since both boys lived in different cities than me, of course it was a big deal that I came to those things. I did not know those gestures were what gave him the wrong idea, because I had simply thought I was supporting a good friend. I also curbed all his physical advances toward me, so I had no clue he had come to that conclusion.
    I really did see him as a friend, but I took it further and played his therapist over our "break up" for the next little while.
    Oddly enough we stayed friends, I made it clear we were only friends. This time I was kind and used words. But I guess he thought if he stuck around long enough, he'd win my heart. We stayed in touch even as I went to college and eventually he came to tour my college campus. At the time I was dating my husband, which he knew. When he met my soon-to-be husband, it felt very much like that incident several years prior except without all the actual possessive type gestures. My then boyfriend was very kind, but noticed that my friend seemed a little too attached to me and was acting jealous. Awkward.
    Later I received a phone call from boy B that was almost identical to the one years before, where he was just devastated that we weren't going to end up together. I felt so bad but also confused, like: I thought I made it clear we weren't going to be a thing. but once again, I listened.
    My husband tried to be his friend, as he genuinely liked boy B. Yet even after I married my husband, boy B would come over to do something with my husband but try to talk to me more, seeking me out even when he was asked by my husband to help with something. So... My husband stopped inviting him over, and boy B never responded to an invitation to hang out alone with my husband again.
    Hah that was looong and only one of the several love triangles I was involved in. 🤣 If you want another story reply, otherwise it takes way too much time and effort to type out on my phone.

  • Malacophile
    Malacophile 7 ай бұрын +1240

    "As a woman, how do you feel about watching love triangles?"
    It's almost painful. I've never been in one, but I've seen them play out and it's not pretty. It's about 32 flavors of uncomfortable. Somebody always gets hurt, there's a lot of jealousy flying around, it ruins relationships (platonic and otherwise) and the person who's being fought over is between a rock and a hard place and is the one who ultimately has to hurt somebody's feelings.
    I don't want to experience any of that. It's also why I give a wide berth to men who are so much as _vaguely interested_ in another woman.

    • big tasty
      big tasty 2 ай бұрын

      bisexuality solves everything

    • Starr Smith
      Starr Smith 3 ай бұрын +1

      I fucking HATE love triangles.

    • Oshroth
      Oshroth 3 ай бұрын +2

      I saw a great argument against the term "Love Triangle" that I agree with. It's only a "Love Triangle" if everyone is interested in everyone else, otherwise (as is usually the only thing shown in media) it's a "Love Corner" because the two people are cornering the third person into loving one of them

    • zetta _
      zetta _ 3 ай бұрын +2

      The Witcher depicts such a thing surprisingly accurately. When it happens, it is quite shitty, drives a permanent wedge between those involved and is done away with quickly; still having a lasting impact on the original relationship.

    • Dumb_bretzel
      Dumb_bretzel 3 ай бұрын +5

      Funny things is technically they aren't love triangles. A triangles would mean that person 1 is in love with 2, who's in love with 3, who's in love with 1. That's a "real triangle". But instead in every movie there's always the "1 and 2 are in love with 3" type of thing 😭

  • Amanda Rebello
    Amanda Rebello 4 ай бұрын +2

    I always thought that in the Beauty and The Beast, the Beast comes to save Belle from the wolves not because he loves her or wants her to fall in love with him, he already thinks he's pretty hideous and hence undeserving of love, he does it regardless of her fear of him but just because she's in the general area. Another thing to note is she could have left him to bleed to death after the attack but she choses to take him back to the castle to treat him. No matter how much beauty and the beast is glamorised Stockholm syndrome the actions in the Disney version allows for growth of both the characters, Belle learns that the Beast is not a monster and is actually quite the sweetheart whereas the beast learns to interact with another human and stop being a prideful aristocrat. He does things for Belle like the library gifting scene to make her happy because she's miserable without her father, he treats her well, is non abusive and when he starts to like her he lets her go. He does for her still believing he's not worth her time. She saves him. I hate when people use Beauty and the Beast to justify the damsel in distress trope. There are worse Disney princess films that potray the damsel in distress namely snow white, sleeping beauty and the Little mermaid. Sigh I wish Disney had just been true to the Hans Christian Anderson story about love being selfless rather than the wishy washy mushy romance they showed.

  • Jebey Aquino
    Jebey Aquino 4 ай бұрын +3

    On love triangle: "That sounds great until you actually have to deal with it and then you're like, this is miserable."
    I agree 💯
    It just feels good to fantasize about it but when it happened, you'll find out the experience is embarrassing and you don't like it.

  • Tainá
    Tainá Ай бұрын

    My relationship actually kind of started as "enemies" to lovers. I mean, enemies is way too strong but we didn't start off nicely.
    My first impression of him was bad. I thought he was a player and actively avoided him. I was kinda disgusted tbh, but we were forced to hang out together and that was the first step for us.
    We later got to know each other better and there was a spark, but we had completely different things in mind - I wanted a committed long term relationship, he didn't even want a relationship. We made mistakes to each other and it wasn't until 2 years later we actually grew enough as people to be in a good romantic relationship with each other.
    But that wasn't the end, of course. We kept challenging each other to change and evolve and each year our relationship grows better.