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Kurtis calling the beach cop a pig and then immediately turning around and shipping him with the other guy is funnier than anything in this entire movie
Dude reading this out of context is the funniest thing ever
@R 2 H here is the full clip explaining why YOUR MOM leftyou (a stupid fucking youtube bot): kzclip.net/video/QJOUqh2E4fk/бейне.html
the reason the cia agent is so terrible at driving is because the actor was possessed by the spirit of Cosmo and the people making the movie didn't wanna try and redo the scenes
THE cosmo from fairy odd parents?
*Thanks for watching send a direct message right away I will love to hear your thoughts on it and for more enlightenment✅👍**
the brain cancer bit with sitcom special guest wooping and cheering when jacob is introduced with the cheering gettin louder and louder and the last zoom in with jacob saying fuck you almost unintelligibly under the loud cheering really cracked me the fuck up. ahh kurtis and his crew of hilarious friends! love them
He just keeps making shit that is funny I have no idea how he does it
That Black Sea joke was way outta pocket💀💀
Took me out in the best way fr 😂😂😂😂😂
Honestly I thought that shit was so funny 😂
I thought it was a random choice for a body of water until I saw this comment and thought about it for a couple seconds
Out of no where like a RKO
I was in shock for a second tbh
The whole reason why chuck and the lifeguard got together was because they knew chuck and the officer were meant for each other, and this is the 1990’s, so they wouldn’t allow that.
@GayJayy YES, that’s exactly what. Only legends know this truth.
They all have an agreement for Chuck and the officer to have a secret relationship and the lifeguard will be Chuck's "beard".
That’s a really good theory, actually.
Kurtis appearing from nothingness is proof he mastered being a magician after all these years
@Jayme Vosburgh aren't we all
It’s because he’s followed Danny for over a month
not the homophobic pejorative
proof more like poof
The Dream jokes and then calling the goggles “goggies” was a MISTAKE Kurtis. You have summoned a beast and it’s only a matter of time before it arrives on your doorstep
The millie bobby brown clip made my jaw drop
she's 12, drake.
@MrZer093 Well that and of course the video where he asks a girl her age, she says underage, and he still lets her dance on him on stage.
A few years back some stripper put him on blast in an interview for constantly requesting his Sheriff’s Badge™️ to be licked.
There ain’t no proof but people def be waiting for that story to drop. Right now, all he be doing is talking in an inappropriate way to kids
Yep definite creep factor
the way I KNEW where this was going when he said that their depiction of the terrorist was crazy 💀
one of the many reasons this movie makes me unfathomably angry
It's giving...Angels and Demons. 💀
Isn’t this pre-9/11 too?
@alia struggle is real
I just kept saying to myself "SURLEY they won’t do it, it’s such a dead joke" well yeah.. what was I expecting tbh
Kurtis was a huge part of my trans awakening but not in a necessarily profound way I just used to think I was a girl and then I saw him and was like dang... he look kinda dope tbh.. I kinda want to look like that
Please touch grass, please, I'm begging you
He also gives me major masc gender envy
No cause how does he have so much gender
omfg lmao i saw this comment in kurtis' instagram story
Lmao I’m not trans but I feel the exact same way 😂 I would kill to look like him lmao
I wish someone would compile all “I hardly know her” jokes kurtis ever said in one video
@Marilyn Maraj lmaoo!!!
@MarshMilo noted! I’m compiling it all but I also use kurtis as a sleep aid so this has proven to be a challenge 😂
@Josias Lourenço shut.
including the in love with a creeper clip
@Keineken_ people add "i hardly know her" to a word/sentence that ends with -er. "Stamper? I hardly know her!". im from SEA so i really have no clue why they say this either
There are actually 4 kids in Malcolm in the Middle. The oldest one is late high school/college age and away from home, but he still exists, Kurtis.Sheesh
@Medianoche In a sense, yes and no. Yes, he's still his parents kid. No, he's technically a late teen/early adult.
@Medianoche He is because he's a child and also there's actually 5but if he meant just the ones still in the house there's 2
Then he's not a kid is he?
5 if you count Jamie
Who else hopes that Kurtis will keep the "yeah" like he kept the "balls" sound?
He will I believe in him
*Thanks for watching send a direct message right away I will love to hear your thoughts on it and for more enlightenment✅👍👍.
i also hope he keeps using the car going off the cliff clip
I think it's quite nice that the guy who just dicks around on the beach looking for treasures wants to use this mind-blowing technology to just... keep doing that but just a bit more efficiently. It shows a character who is exactly where he wants to be in life. (It's also what I find nice about Linus in Stardew Valley. He knows how he wants to live no matter how difficult it can get.)
Based sdv reference!!!!
@Charlotte Walther I'm not sure if, even if he was romantically involved with the player character, he would want to set up on our farm. He's a free spirit, and is friends with the Wizard (you see him hanging out with the Wizard at the Stardew version of Halloween) and has the history lore about being an adventurer.His existing camp near the caves is close enough to our farm, the onsen he likes to hang out by, and the lake he likes to look out over. I feel like he'd stay there regardless, because anything else would seem like charity from us, the player. Even if we're full friendship hearts he doesn't move in as a roommate (like Krobus) because he wants to be close to nature.Even a farm isn't really nature, not to him I'd imagine. It's an industry. The plants that grow are only there to be cut down for money, etc.I think about Linus a lot lol
Linus is hands down the best character in stardew valley and I’m so sad you can’t marry him because I would and I’d let him set up his camp on the farm if he doesn’t wanna live in the house with me. Personal space is important and I get his mindset. Capitalism sucks.
YES YES YES I ALSO THOUGHT OF LINUS :’) i havent played too much stardew (read: 100 hrs) and linus is the ONLY character i’ve reached full hearts with 😭
@Keebs ur comment made me regain faith in humanity... idk why. i just love stardew valley ig
kurtis wasn’t holding back this video, calling out drake for being a creep and the police for racial profiling within minutes of each other dhdhhdjd
And the twist is that this entire movie was a lucid/fever/day dream Reese was having in a random filler episode of malcom in the middle.
22:45 Did he CHANGE CLOTHES while the shelves were falling on and crushing him? Mr Lizzie McGuire's Dad has mad skillz, bruh.
@Evangeline Wood No, neither would I, had Kurtis not played it so many times! Don't worry ;) Plus, it was actually my second time watching through this part of the video, so I easily could've missed it too.
Wait hold up, you're right, the color of his undershirt goes from medium blue to turquoise. Holy shit, I never would have noticed that.
'I think it's time for our secret agent, "we cant let the bad guys take us alive" pills'.. what a line
@Riley L cyanide flintstones gummies
They're kid friendly cyanide pills 👀
I love how fast the chase scene escalates in absurdity 24:21
*Thanks for watching send a direct message right away I will love to hear your thoughts on it and for more enlightenment✅👍*
clearly chuck kept up his beach treasure-digging lifestyle so he could see the cop and further drive their romance plot
@sagapulastation um why do you ask why do you need to know do you think that why 😟
@sagapulastation yes they have isnt it obvious
Do you think theyve ever explored each others bodies on the beach
I was thinking it the whole time IT'S A CLASSIC TROUPE
That'd be a much better plot, good on you.
The chase scene was absolutely delightful. That shit sounded like I was in build mode in the Sims
The Millie Bobby Brown bit killed me had me rolling on the floor 😂
The twist in the burger skit is better than any twist I've seen in a movie in many years.
I LOVE that scene with epic crash and him just casually crawling out of the sea unscathed, covered in seaweed, like he's a Terminator... ONLY to pivot to doing a relaxed hair flip and staring placidly off towards the horizon, as if he was thinking "Geez. I've gotta be more careful." Y'know, like you or I might think after almost tripping over slight rise in the sidewalk. Just kind of a weird day for him, I guess. We could all learn some lessons in taking things in stride from him.He's a certified badass for that. What an absolute dude. That's the most graceful recovery I have ever seen in my life. That man has 9 lives. One time, my cat slipped off of a little jut 15 feet up in the living room wall and she took it about as well as this man. I don't think even she knew or cared that she just fell 15 feet. Just carried right on like nothin happened. You yourself would think she planned it that way.
Kurtis' "Sucker" bit alone is WAY better than this whole movie could even *try* to be! 😆
How tf does Kurtis just drop that he’s friends with Freddie Dredd
was bouta comment this 🤣
"Shoot that little pervert!" The goggles might have curse of vanishing!
*Thanks for watching send a direct message right away I will love to hear your thoughts on it and for more enlightenment✅👍***
“Now that’s what I call a boner” made me giggle a disturbing amount.
If I had a nickel for every time a Malcolm in the Middle actor ogled someone using x-ray goggles, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird it happened twice.
Jaget nach dem Frieden gegen jedermann und der Heiligung, ohne welche wird niemand den Herrn sehen,Hebräer 12:14So tut nun Buße und bekehrt euch, dass eure Sünden vertilgt werden;Apostelgeschichte 3:19So sehet ihr nun, dass der Mensch durch die Werke gerecht wird, nicht durch den Glauben allein. Denn gleichwie der Leib ohne Geist tot ist, also ist auch der Glaube ohne Werke tot.Jakobus 2:24,26
@And Siri Is Stupid Yes Siri isn’t the only one
@And Siri Is Stupid Yes stay mad doofenshmirtz rules
If I had a nickel for every time someone made an unoriginal joke like this, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird it happened twice. Who am I kidding? I’d be a freaking billionaire.
Kurtis is more loyal to HelloFresh than many men are to their wives
Accurate the other way around as well. A lot of people are unfaithful.
Fun fact: those black ops guys actually do have x-ray goggles. They just use millimeter wave scanners instead of x-rays and the images produced don't look very sexy at all
Dude's sketches somehow got more unhinged and more hilarious, I love it!
They may have changed the title in the UK because there was an album released by a band called Babylon Zoo in the 90s called The Boy with the X-ray Eyes.
I honestly was more invested in the knife and hamburger skit than the scenes of the movie. The premise was much more promising.
@Josias Lourenço nobody asked
I was fucking dying
Seriously, the movie was just that bad that the skit Kurtis made was better, it’s kinda funny in a sense, lmao
I love when you do these type of videos they make me laugh so hard and you make my day please do more
2:48 I love how he always dramatically calls out his misspeaks, cause I do the same damn thing
i am soooo here for the enemies-to-lovers storyline for the cop & the uncle
If you want to see Uncle Chuck’s earlier pervy exploits, watch Revenge of the Nerds.
The cars changing models and colours in every shot is the most outrageously hilarious thing I've ever witnessed
@AspenRose Animations “Ah, the Dobonhonkeros. Dobonhonkeros accommodating is, uh, we know where that leads.”-Andrew Garfield
Im desperate at this point but can someone please explain to me why he showed a pic of meghan trainor when he mentioned the pedophilia in the movie very early on in the video ???? Ive never been more confused
@Booba must have needed a bigger size to accommodate the dobonhonkeros, and they couldnt find one in the same color
It's probably because Stamper crushed all of the cars
@Aldranza M he is also wearing two different shirts in the shots
Great Video! *this movie makes me cringe harder than I've ever cringed*
Stacy’s Mom blows this movie’s perverted teenage boy antics out of the water, I’d love to see a review of that movie
@hug bug It's one of the funniest, most confusing bad movies I've ever seen, pls watch it if you get the chance
@hug bug Yeah what?? And more importantly, WHY?
I thought it was a song? There's a movie too?!
the sucker-burger sketch is legitimately the best one you've ever done, the plot twist was great and fantastically underscored by the editing, it's honestly true artalso loved the jacob cameo!
"A homeless man with cash???? This guy doesn't need any more money"
the coolest spy gadget was definitely the microwave that could turn those little packets into a hamburger in 1 second
be careful tho, if you hold it in for too long, the burger contents will turn into a sucker note and your friend with knives will get arrested in the airport trying to book a flight to Germany.
Exactly that was my one wish as a kid
SO GLAD SOMEONE ELSE THOUGHT OF THIS
LITERALLY!! I remember I used to open and close kitchen cabinets to see if it worked lmaoo
Chuck is a rich guy live action role playing a poor guy and he pays the cop to bust his balls to make it feel real.
I was genuinely unprepared for the burger to be missing
Tbh the best part of being a spy was the microwave that made anything You wanted
Classic Kurtis with his knives at the airport.
The most amusing thing about this 'movie' is that the cars are literally different makes, models, and even colors from shot to shot. It's like they went out of their way to have zero continuity.
@Johanna Brand Ich weiß nicht, was es bedeutet. Ich verstehe nicht. Als das Auto von der Straße abkommt, riecht der Mann nach Fisch.
@The Odour wtf is that supposed to mean lmao
@The Odour huh ??
The fact the kurtis is friends with Freddie Dredd is kinda wild
I WAS WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO SAY THIS i love freddie and kurtie so im mindblown
There's an app my family used to use, forget what it was called but it tracked our phones and our batteries. My family had it set to where we could see everyone in the family, so it went both ways, and we were explained why it was important and it was never used to invade our privacy. And most importantly, we weren't forced into it- We agreed to it. That's the important thing about using apps like that, they can be incredibly helpful, but have to be used responsibly to avoid violating people's privacy.
You should watch Freddie as F.R.O.7 Its about a kid who gets turned into a frog, stays as a frog, and is a secret agent. There's more to it but I feel like it would blow your mind
so they have the cia agent on a super secret mission to deliver the super secret thing, i think they just gave that to the most incompetent guy because "even you can't mess up being a postman for a day" and see what happened :'D
kurtis i just gotta tell you this is genuinely such a good video. like the drake jokes, stamper driving, JACOB MAKING A CAMEO? being a married man maxed out your comedy skills. welcome back man!!!!!
I agree. It’s now one of my favorite videos of Kurtis’s!
@Dana Cornish ok, also remind me when the scam comment is gone so i can delete my comment
Kurtis's videos are legit more entertaining than 95% of Netflix no cap
@AnomalousAnimates Report the comment
Damn loved Jacob’s cameo 😂
The Burger skit should get an Oscar.
I highly recommend watching kurtis Connor drunk this is the funniest video I’ve ever seen
“Chuck has a crush on Dave Chapelle” has me ☠️
As a British person, I can confirm we are nothing but an urban legend.
Unreasonably proud of myself for saying "gadgets" out loud in sync with Kurtis
OH MY GOD U DID MY SUGGESTION KURT 😭 I am so honoured 🥲 I did indeed love this movie as a kid, but ngl even as a child I was like this is inappropriate for a kids movie. Officially my new fav Kurtis Conner video, I am in stitches from laughing so hard.
@Cassidy Charleston that’s the American spelling, I’m Australian and here the correct spelling is with a u, same as how favourite and colour are spelt without a u in the US, but are spelt with the u in Australia and the UK.
@Cassidy Charleston bruh
at 22:46 his shirt magically changes color from a medium blue to a dark grey 😂😂😂
Glad to see Kurtis is back with those fever dream skits
Did...did you just said D-Dream 🤤?
@Seeing Star so glad you owned the bots by... botting comments that clog up comments even more?your intelligence amazes me
Here is the full clip explaining why dad left you: (Making fun of bots) *kzclip.net/video/vn8WdvkmTGs/бейне.html*
The sucker skit actually made me laugh
That British accent was the most beautiful thing i have ever tasted with my ears
Mmmmmmmmm *slurp* DELICIOUS EAR NOISE
It's wonderful hearing-sauce, honestly.
to be fair, "x-ray kid" is a much catchier title
Holy shit I had this movie, on one of those weird movie compilation DVDs 🤣
When you said you under reacted to X Ray goggles, I doubt he regular researches how X Ray technology works and probably just assumed that these were expensive but not one of a kind
14:21 - I really wanted the empty chair to slowly turn around to reveal a second “SUCKER!” sign 😂
The coolest part of spy kids for me was always the food. The packets or whatever that they throw in the microwave and it comes out looking like a Burger King commercial. That and the thumb-thumbs...
wanna know the best (or worst) part? now days you can totally have "x-ray" goggles, just get an AR/VR headset and camera, use openCV to identify people and text to image to AI to see the bones of a person
Like every x-ray technology in movies, sometimes you see through the skin to bones and sometimes you just see through clothes. Sacrifice continuity for those artfully crafted perv scenes!
@Daniel Gomez ah I didn’t notice! Ok I can accept that
@Daniel Gomez yeah they implied it could be adjusted for different things, haha
@Trinu Pose it used to be possible, but after Malcolm used it on a coworker and she complained to hr they added a filter
I love that they can also see through clothes but NOT bras
I wish we had more so bad its good films
I recommend Ben 10: Race Against Time(2007), Halloween Party(1989), and The Book of Henry(2017). I hope they satiate your desire.
Loved the missing burger twist!!
i like how kurtis just mentions he's friends with freddie dredd like it's nothing.
This is a clear example no one really knows what radiation is and does. 17:00- a physicist
I like to imagine that in the Kurtis skitematic universe, everyone looks, sounds, and acts like Kurtis. Even the newborns.
like that one scene in Despicable Me
KSU and Jermaverse crossover
@Sh4rky well now it's a prefect universe
@airin Macdonald yes
You should do the movie Bug Off 😂 it’s an interesting one. I think you would enjoy watching it
"Lizzie Mcguire's dad". Holy shit did that make me feel old. Lmao
Wow. If a kid actually smashed you in the base of the skull with a fire extinguisher, you're dead. Bobby just killed a woman.
Kurtis your hair is so cool, i'm gonna let my hair grow just like yours
Kurtis, I am BEGGING you to watch a Canadian 80's movie called "The Peanut Butter Solution". It has a more crazy plot than Goat Story, I am NOT shitting you.
Oooo, yes please!!!
@XstonedmonkeyzX its not that deep
Begging? Jeeesus dude calm down...
Not familiar w/ your channel , I stumbled across it and had to stop. The wisdom to be told from a Mullet+Stache combo like that intrigued my intrest.
4:13 the fact that if you take another look he'd actually already successfully turned the corner before flying off the road 😟 dude can't even drive straight, how tf is he in the CIA?
You guys called those x-ray goggles? I always callthem breast cancer ray
The fact that the guy didnt believe the kid when he said his gun was jammed.. even 🥴though 🥴 he has🥴 XRAY GLASSES!! WTF🗣️🤣
kurtis posting is like an oracle to me. no matter what if he posts it’s gonna be a good day. spring is coming early this year
*Earth’s seasons aggressively speed through to get to Spring before December 31st*
@Setheus i mean what i said! an oracle as in his uploads tell the future of how my day/week/month will go
Did... did you mean miracle? An oracle is like... a soothsayer my man
why’d i think this said kurtis posing 💀
Cancel you for doing a (bad) British accent? You forgot two major rules in racism:1 - You can't be racist against your own race2 - It is impossible to be racist towards any white person
You’re a little confused, but you’ve got the spirit.
i'm rewatching this video and literally only just noticed the bigfoot shirt.
Please review Blank check. So awkward. It's a 90s movie on Disney+ 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 it has not aged well!!
Kurtis- everyone knows the coolest gadget was the microwave that made instant McDonalds
ok. I have to say this.... the "Sucker......Burger" storyline sucked me in, it had everything I needed in a story, surprise, deceit, plot twist, suspense and best of all horror, what else would you call it when you sit down to eat a burget and its gone "POOF!" you should be nominated for an emmy and an Oscar!!! VERY WELL DONE DESERVES A like
YES I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING HAHAHAHA
CAN U PLSSS REACT TO ‘THE STARVING GAMES’ it is the best worst spoof movie EVERRRR
I laughed so hard. This is why I watch every video Kurtis drops. He's hilarious.
You wanna see the rest of the comment?Sucker!
Sucker burger? Isn't that the guy that made facebook
All jokes aside I hope Jacob gets better 🙂
Now I want to put "sucker" in every drawer in my house, thanks for the idea Kurtis
"Sucker? I barely know her"
I love the subtle referencing of fat rats in this video.Very clever
Kurtis, I would love to see you do a review of Suburban Sasquatch. It is up there with The Room and Birdemic with how hilariously terrible it is.
Kurtis laughing at his own joke gives me so much dopamine I cannot
You cannot what?
@KT the super koopa right? youtube please fix this goddamn bots problem 😐
also when he's ashamed of his own joke- so good
can you calm down
As a Brit, I can say that joke was funny. And the follow up
20:20 - well to be fair, there are a lot of places in the US that feel like that. where there streets are empty and there is nobody around
"Lizzie Maguire's dad" is the legendary lead from Revenge of the Nerds. Thanks. Love, your elder Millennial.